question for those in non-custodial situations regarding bdays/holidays
For those of you that have spouses who are the non-custodial parent, how do you handle holiday gifts/birthday parties? Do you go all out for everything even though skid gets this w/ custodial parent? Bm is a POS but she does like to go all out for holidays/bdays so that she can show everyone how great of a mom she is because of what she buys him for xmas/bday etc. I guess I ask this because now w/ Dd (mine and dh's bio daughter) here I wonder if I'm supposed to encourage equal gifts/parties even though Ss will be getting double. I love Ss and I don't ever want him to feel like he's getting the shaft but I am concerned as to how this will affect my daughter. I know, I know, things will NEVER be equal and/or fair because we are in a step family situation but I'm just curious what you guys do. For instance this year we probably aren't going to have Ss for Easter (long story) are we supposed to go all out and by him a basket even though he won't be with us or should we just get him something small or even anything at all being that he won't be here? (I use this example because the past weekend he was pretty much demanding a basket full of goodies) This also concerns me because if everyone is going all out for him, I fear he will think he is superior to Dd and will voice that in the future.
Anyway, any comments appreciated. Dh is working nights and I can't sleep thus here I am, Stalking