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Bm was served...

msg1986's picture

So yesterday when Dh was talking to Ss, Bm jumped on the phone and was being extra nice and asked Dh if he wanted to pick Ss up early. Dh agreed and we went last night around 7pm to pick Ss up from the store Bm was at. Dh met up with Bm to get Ss and when he did Bm asked Dh real nice if they could talk and then asked if he could explain to her why he was taking her to court and if they could try to work it out together to avoid not going to court. Dh Said that he told her that he didn't want to go to court but that she isn't willing to compromise on anything. Dh said Bm acted really nice and was like "well, what do you want? Let's try to work it out because I just don't want to go to court." So Dh told her that he could have the lawyer write something up and if she'd agree to it, they wouldn't go to court. Bm said okay and asked what he wanted. Dh told her he wanted her to share the transportation responsibilities-she said fine, he wanted half of the holidays-Bm rolled her eyes but said okay, and Dh said he wanted to take turns claiming Ss every year for taxes. That's when Bm hit the roof. Dh said she got flustered and was like "No, We're going to court. You can't claim him! It's all about money for you. You don't even know his teachers name! It's against the law for you to claim him!" Dh said she also kept stammering "you're not going to get it, you can't, you can't" Dh said after that she kept trying to engage him because he said it seemed like she wanted to argue but Dh just told her "then we will talk about it in court/talk to my lawyer." He said at that point she was very angry and then started telling him that the next time he takes her to court he better let her know because Ss answered the door and supposedly he's traumatized because he seen Bm get served.

I'm proud of Dh though for standing his ground and not engaging with her any further. I thought she was going to get really nasty via text/phone calls but surprisingly she has called/text- nothing-I'm sure because she doesn't want Dh to have any kind of proof of anything she says. She also claimed that she was only asking him what he wanted because she alleges that paperwork she was served with doesn't say what he's motioning for... I don't know how true that is though because I thought that's what they serve you??? I'm thinking she's nervous about going to court and that's why she was being nice and suddenly willing to work with him, but who knows. The tax thing really P'd her off, which I don't even know why she's mad, she's not even working anymore. I'm thinking maybe she's promised her boyfriend that he claim Ss because she doesn't work anymore??? Who knows. These next few weeks/months will be very interesting...

Comments

msg1986's picture

Yeah, Dh said all he really wanted is his visitation on paper so that Bm couldn't threaten him anymore and also that the exchange on Ss was established so Dh wasn't at the mercy of Bm when it came to picking Ss up and dropping him off-everything else is extra so it's a win win.

msg1986's picture

I am expecting but I don't know, Dh said she seemed really nervous about it and Dh said she's always been very fearful of courts,cops, anything dealing with the law really so we'll seeeee.

thank you, i hope it works out well too. I told Dh even for some reason the court said that he couldn't claim Ss on the taxes (even though it's standard in our state for the parents to take turns) and even if they told Dh that he had to still do transportation, that it didn't matter because at least he'll have his vistation on paper and she would have to at the VERY least have something where it stated where exchanges had to take place and what time so Dh wouldn't have to be chasing Bm all over town. All the other stuff Dh is only asking for because he's been forced to get a lawyer.

thinkthrice's picture

Yep, it's going to get ugly real soon. One must never come between a psycho BM and their meal ticket. Oh I mean CS and pro-BM goodies in the CO.

Amazonian BM got served last week. Thankfully we never hear from her nor the offspring, but I'm sure she's FUMING!!

Chef thinks it can all be handled out of court since he's always deemed the BM "reasonable"

Reasonable being defined as the BM not complaining because she knows darn well she's getting at least 100% more of what she should be getting plus all the pro-BM goodies in the court order that should have NEVER been allowed.

msg1986's picture

Oh yeah, It's funny you say that because Bm was fine with everything until Dh brought up her money er, I mean the taxes. The funnier thing is that Bm doesn't even work so I'm thinking she may have made an agreement with her fiance that he could claim Ss on the taxes because she's doesn't work.

thinkthrice's picture

Yep, the BM in my case got a froo froo job with CPS working a grueling 35 hours a week and a horrific 6 minute commute to work. She actually gets free healthcare through her job and Chef pays "his share" of the skids healthcare costs but doesn't get to claim any skids any more since the BM interpreted the CO to mean she will claim the youngest two no matter what and Chef will claim the oldest (who no longer can be claimed at age 18, but CS still keeps a' rollin' here in NYS till 21)

misSTEP's picture

Our BM was able to contain herself with everything that my DH wanted...until it got to the No Contact part. THAT'S when she flipped her shit (to her lawyer, they were trying to mediate a decision before seeing the judge, but we could hear her just fine).

msg1986's picture

Thank you for your comment Smile I have a question for you, I don't know how to word this exactly but was there anything you were able to do to prevent your ex from claiming the kids? I've looked at the rules when it comes to claiming your child in our state and it says that the IRS says whoever the child lives w/ 50% of the year get the credit but that when it comes to court orders regarding who claims the child, the state trumps what IRS says. Dh knew this would be the ong thing that Bm would fight hard against but I just don't know what legal grounds or reasoning she would have to say why he shouldn't be allowed to claim Ss. What do you think?

The attorney says taking turns on claiming the child is very standard here and she doesn't see why a judge wouldn't grant thing. She also said that because Bm chooses not to work if she fights this one the attorney can ask to give Dh the right to claim Ss every year because if Bm has no intention of returning to work, she isn't able to use the credit anyway... unless of course she's giving that right away to someone else.

msg1986's picture

Yeah that's what I gathered from everything I've read so far. The lawyer said she makes sure that when they are in court that residential parent signs the IRS form giving the right to the non residential parents.

Ooooh yeah, I'm sure she will go get some menial job but that's fine, at least it'll bring more income for Ss at her house because right now they are living off CS, foodstamps and her boyfriend.

msg1986's picture

Oh yeah, I've seen that, Dh is okay there though because he was in arrears when the state first filed against him because Bm was collecting Welfare plus what Dh was giving her for support but he paid that back right away.

Do you think he's being unreasonable by asking for this? He said Bm seemed so like, I guess for a lack of better, offended that he would even think to ask for this right. To me it just seems fair, ya know?

z3girl's picture

If it's in the CO that they alternate years, and she signs Form 8338 releasing for that year and future years, it won't matter who claims first. In our case, BM was CP and she signed the form releasing DH every even year. I made sure I included that form as well as the pages in the divorce decree when we filed our taxes, and we never had a problem. One year BM did claim SD when she wasn't supposed to and we got a letter from the IRS questioning it, but since we had covered our butts, we didn't need to do a thing, and haven't had any problems since.

msg1986's picture

Yep, the lawyer said she has that form signed asap so that he doesn't have issues w/ Bm in the future. Thanks for that info, I've keeping a tons of notes so this info will help if he does get the right.