Well, I'm on the other side of this situation...I've maintained a very close mother/daughter relationship with my first mother in law. In, fact she just spent two weeks here with my, my dh, and our kids here in Germany. She has been more of a mother to me then my own mother has ever been..I married her son when I was 19 and we divorced when I was 35 so thats 16 years that I had built and enjoyed a close relationship with her and my brother in laws. That doesn't automatically cease to exist because I divorced her son and we both remarry.

Our situation was a bit different then yours. She knew her son was a jerk and had been a crappy husband and father to me and our kids. So she backed me when I divorced her son. Our girls and I have nothing to do with their father, in fact, we havn't even spoken to him in five years. Our relationship is with his mother and it has absolutley nothing to do with him. Sometimes in laws have formed a bond and relationship with their son/daughter in law of their own..And sometimes they want to maintian a good relationship with the parent of their grandkids.

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted

Like disgusted I get along with my MIL/FIL. But like to keep a low profile. They met me once and loved me but considering the ex I could understand.

The ex used to be around her all the time and used them for a babysitting service while she ran around. She even had the nerve to tell my H's mother that he sexually assaulted her for 3 years. Wait she even had cervical cancer and was completely cured in a matter of weeks!!

The funny thing is that BM thinks she is still friends with MIL. She wrote her an email on Xmas eve about how awful he was keeping her kids away from her Mother. BM wrote my H an email that she wanted them 830-11pm and wrote to his Mom for an hour for dinner. This is yet another one to show the attorney that she will do anything for attention. She even told MIl that the boys were very upset about it. BM doesn't like it when nothing goes her way........this year is the only year my H exercised his right to have the kids on Xmas Eve...he has always let her have her way....oh wait...lol until he met me!!!

I think the relationship should end when the in-laws have nothing positive to say about the ex-wife and claim to hate her but still welcome the b**** into their home - for the sake of the kids.....

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Had the audacity to tell me that I needed to just get over it! She said I did, if I wanted a relationship with my granddaughter, then I knew I just needed to kiss her ass.

Whatever! I don't play like that and I don't pretend. I guess tho a lot of grandparents think that way. Yep....it does suck!!

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

My current I-Ls are nice people also but I probably would not keep in touch with them either if something were to happen to my wife or our marriage.

Now, my wife would likely maintain a close relationship with my parents in the event of my demise or the end of our marriage. My Mom and my Wife are very close as are my Wife and my Dad.

My parents have accepted my SS as their own GC and the end of our marriage would likely not change that.

That is just how my family is I guess.

Best regards,

I totally sympathize with your situation. Go back and read my posts - my FH family welcomes the BM with open arms and they were never married and this has been going on for 16 years. Every b/day party, xmas, thanksgiving, BM is there with SD looking like mother of the year - my FH stopped going years ago because his parents think the sun shines out of her ass. BM also crashed a family dinner party that was in MY honor to meet the family for the first time - that is right she was not invited and showed up anyway - we left. My FILs are very nice to me but thank god we live 3 states away so my FH choose not to deal with his family period!