Alcohol and the Cool Parent
I'm not against alcohol and I'm not for it either. I like an occasional drink. I have nothing bad to say about people who drink more frequently than me. What I'm not ok with is minors drinking alcohol. Teenagers don't have fully developed brains. They are impulsive and make poor choices. Alcohol intoxication can and often causes loss of inhibitions and impulsive behavior.
So why would a parent buy alcohol for a teenager? The only reason I can think of is they want to look cool to their child. They want the admiration and approval. I understand that some parents let their kid have an occasional drink at home, but I'm not talking about that type of situation. I'm talking about kids that ask their parents for alcohol so they can party with their friends wherever that may be.
I'm on this rant because earlier today DH tells me he missed a call today from the police calling about SD17. As usual DH felt the best action in this type event is no action. I wanted him to call back and find out what its about. Not only was I curious to find out if miss innocent finally had the law after her (petty I know), but I also wanted to know in case I needed to do damage control against who knows what legal mess SD might be sending our way. It was obvious DH wasn't going to return the call so I suggested he call SD and ask her why the police might be calling him about her. I already knew she was incapable of being honest, but usually she has a small amount of truth to her stories.
Well DH liked this idea very much and immediately gave her a call. Afterwards I asked him what happened. He said not to worry its already been handled. I decided to not give it any more energy than I already had and left it at that.
Few seconds later DH's phone rings and I can tell he's talking to SD. She's making some request of him that requires him to drive into town. He starts talking quietly and then ends the call. Now I know SD had gotten in trouble some how with the law and was feeling the heat. She was nervous. I know this because whenever SD is under scrutiny for something and tells a fake story she always makes some request of the person she is trying to manipulate into believing her. Its some smart trick she's got that helps ensure she has the full support of the people she lies to. It gets their attention off recent events having to do with her that might not make complete sense and instead their focus is directed towards helping her. The bigger the request the better and this time it was a really big one.
So DH comes into the room and says he has to go to town. He isn't providing details which makes me curious. I already knew he was meeting SD, big deal, why the secrecy? He tells me she wants him to buy her wine coolers. I couldn't believe he thought this was an ok thing to do. Like this was a being a good parent or something. He said in the past he did it for the other kids (look where they are in life I thought) and I told him that that's a lame excuse to buy a minor alcohol.
I decided he just wants her to think he is cool. He wants her approval. He wants her to think and speak of him with fondness to other people (her usual way is to try and convince everyone that he and I are monsters that abuse her and always try to make her feel bad about herself. She even chose a new dad. Its her moms ex boyfriend. He writes SD from prison. Calls her his darling daughter and gushes about amazing he thinks she is and is very proud of her and how she puts up with all of us).
I want to look to DH with pride. Instead I keeping feeling these feelings of disgust. How can I respect a man whose brains fall out whenever it comes to a child manipulating him. Is he that insecure about himself? He's always frustrated at me because I'm rarely in the mood. I just don't see dumb decisions and weak parenting as being attractive in a man.
I need Christmas vacation to end so I can go back to work and not have so much idle time with my own thoughts.