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Update....

mom23ms's picture

So I have still moved out and SO (or whatever he is) has not picked up his kids. But he has been speaking to the oldest since she all of a sudden is contacting him more. Kinda weird but...at least they are being civil to one another.

So I met with SO so we could talk about our future if if there really is one. My kids really miss him (especially my eldest.) His #2 called and said she was ready to come back and straighten up her act. I was under the impression he didn't get them but it was SD #2 who said she wanted to be like SD #1 and not come over (because she was caught doing something she wasn't suppose to do and she was punished) so she felt he was being "mean" to her. Kind of makes me feel a little bit better about SO (but not much.)

So SD #1 who totally moved out and has not stayed the night in six months (but he has seen her) calls to say "when SD2 and SD3 come back, I want to come back too."

When the three of them get together (meaning all three of his girls) it is pure HELL. There is yelling, cussing, fights, throwing things and I mean this happens not just at home but out in public between the girls. But see, she had been asking SO more and more for rides lately even though he told BM he couldn't take her to practice because SD2 and SD3 had activities he had to take them to when he had them and that since SD1 moved out it was all on BM. BM said "fine." But SD1 has been asking alot to take her to practice and when he can he does. I have no problem. Room arragements were adjusted after this kid moved out and SO and I were talking about me coming back because he was going to keep the girls in line....And I think he truly means it.

So back to yesterday, SD1 wants to come back because she can't get rides anymore to practice. She didn't exactly come out with that wording but she sees that the other sisters have it good with us.

Right when I was ready to come back this comes into place. I don't know if I can handle the drama again because this daughter (along with SD #2) is out of control.

I am now rethinking this decision about coming back. SO even asked me my opinion and I was honest with him. He knows that things won't change with the sisters and their disrespect, but at least with the two girls the chaos was bad but not like this. This makes us have to make room for her to come back and rearrange and change things and of course she is wanting her own room back and not wanting to share a room and my SO said "well we can let her have her own room until we decide to move or something." Really, because we have a 4 bedroom house and now we will have 6 kids. Two each in a room. Why should my three have to share a room, while his 2 share a room, while the oldest one gets her own room. How is that fair to my kids? Am I being unreasonable? I don't want this kid to come back because when I think I've made progress, it is actually a step back. Should I tell him I am not coming back if she comes back? Am I wrong?

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

I would put my foot down the rooms!!! I did when we first got together. For some reason they all thought that his 3 boys should have their own rooms but my 2 (boy and girl) should not even have a room! I just said this is something I will not back down from! If I don't like it I make a stick till I do like the out come

purpledaisies's picture

Sorry rooms is something that I'm very passionate about. I believe that the kids that are living at the home full time should get their own rooms. If they are living there full time then they should all be treated fairly. Which means in your case 2 to a room!!! Why should one be more special then the other kids? Also if you do not want to go back if she moves in then tell dh that. I'm a firm believer in no Musial houses! Meaning that kids should not be allowed to move back and forth just b/c they think the grass is greener.