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When does this feeling go away?

Midwest Stepmom's picture

I am a new BM and I just get so antsy around BS. I feel like I have to give him constant attention and entertainment. I lone for the days I had free time and could just nap when I wanted to. I also miss date nights with my DH. I love my BS very much, but if I could chose over again, I would wait.

When does this feeling go away?


Helena.Handbasket's picture

You need a regular date night. How old is your BS?

as he gets older he will learn to entertain himself, but when they are little and an only child there's no one to play with. I was an only child and always asked my mom to entertain me, but she was busy a lot. I learned to play by myself and eventually found neighborhood friends. Maybe arrange play dates with other moms and trade off caring for each others kids??

fakemommy's picture

Mine is nearing a year, after crawling and walking they need you so much less, it'll get better sooner than you think. I think for me being a working mom meant a lot of guilt and feeling like, oh my gosh how am I going to teach them everything and do this and that and I only get a few hours a day. Now things have calmed. I feel more comfortable doing date nights at least once or twice a month. You will get there soon. Have you gotten help with you PPD?

Also remember it is good to teach them independent play now. We kind of "force" them to spend time playing alone. This wasn't done with my skid, and at a pre-teen age, they still can't spend more than a few minutes entertaining themselves.

Midwest Stepmom's picture

Yes, I received help with my PPD. It took a little bit to adjust the medications. I think I just really needed to go back to work and have adult conversations, that helped a lot.

I think I also need to make friends. I am not good at that, and I think that would also help out my situation.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Yes at 4 months, you are their everything. I imagine dad is a bit hands off?

Do you have your parents or siblings who can help??

Midwest Stepmom's picture

I was put on meds for PPD. I never believed in depression as an illness until I experienced it first hand.

I just always feel antsy and high alert. It's sad but there are days that I think about leaving. But then I snap out of it, I know this feeling won't go on for to long.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

DH took a month off of work for paternity leave so he could help me deal with BD--because she was on formula, we could switch off every four hours and catch our sleep when we needed, we would each sleep about 7-8 hours at a stretch and survive that way. It helped that we slept in separate rooms and whoever had BD for that stretch had her in their room.

I really just had her strapped to me when I needed to do work, and in bed with me when I was relaxing when DH wasn't there, but I don't think the high alert ever goes away. Even when they're adults, we're going to be listening for something that goes wrong.

I didn't do much to entertain her though, as she woke for longer periods of time, I would put her on a large mat and let her do her thing. She never seemed to want attention that much. But the moment she started crawling and now attempting to walk, she needs to be all over us. Before 6 months was heaven compared to now at almost a year.