My Easter FUN
a lot has happened over Easter Weekend. BM decided to drop SS12 off at DH fathers house for Easter. We didn't make the 5 hour trip up there since she was refusing to answers us on what the plans were. Normally we travel up to that area for holidays, but i'm a week away from due date and we only wanted to travel of DH was going to get parenting time.
anyways, BM decides to sit and visit with FIL for 2 hours. His family are too nice to say anything, they are conservative, don't rock the boat type pf people. To me this is a boundary crossed. FIL is my family, not hers, she gave up that right when she cheated on DH 8 years ago and got pregnant with another mans kid. I do get upset that DH family wont say much to her about "visiting", why would you want to keep company with someone that did that to your son.
DH called BM and told her not to communicate with his family anymore at drop off/pick ups. To just wait in the car and SS12 will come out. We have a CO that his family can be utilized as visitation if needed. BM flipped out and said that she would be bringing the police with to pick up SS at FIL house since she doesn't feel safe. REALLY?!? this coming from someone that was just sitting in his house for 2 hours. plus FIL is a 70 year old man that can barley walk. What is he going to do? DH and BM got into a texting war, when it finally came to the pick up time, no police showed up.
So far I think I have the craziest BM out there:
-Doggie Shamed SS12 a few weeks ago
-Called CPS on me for "sexual abuse" many years ago - then a week later asked me to babysit
-Called Police a few weeks ago to pick up SS12 from our house because she didn't feel safe
-used a police escort to pick up SS(then 5) at daycare on DH parenting time, because she didn't like that daycare
-Tells SS that DH hates kids and that's why ss doesn't live with us and dh never gave BM anymore kids
-Tells SS that DH spreads rumors about BM when she was a teenager - palm to face (both in 30s now)
-Every time something doesn't go her way she says she will be consulting her lawyer or calling the police
Keep in mind both DH and I work corporate type jobs. we don't have time or the brain capacity for all this trailer trash drama. Some days I want to slap DH for ever getting this women pregnant and then marrying her, they were 17 and 18.
- Midwest Stepmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Not sure what more could go
Not sure what more could go wrong this week.
- BM has gone even more CRAZY!!
- I had to turn down my dream job because it was a 7K pay cut a year
- Our A/C unit is not fixable, so there is a min of 3K
Oh, and my due date is next Monday!!!
A 70yr old man who can barely
A 70yr old man who can barely walk was likely thrilled to pieces to have the company. I just don't get 'excited' over these little things and have a hard time trying to understand why it is such a big to-do. What's up with this line of thinking 'its my FIL (aka my family), not hers, gave up rights blah blah blah"?
This is a grown up old man who can have anyone he choses in his door. You weren't there. They didn't infringe on your time and how does a visit to the grandfather BM's children (while you are nowhere near) affect you? It doesn't, well except for in your head where you somehow believe you 'own' possession of what another adult can and can't do. Gpa needs to tell you and your possessive attempts of 'ownership' to mind your own business when it doesn't concern you. What did you expect the old guy to do? Slam the door in her face? Announce "Im betraying some imaginary boundary my DIL seems to exist that she can control who I see and who visits my home in her absence'?
My 2 cents? Unless it personally affects you, why try to control what is not yours to control? The old guy does not call you up and tell you who you can visit with...you nor your DH were there, the 2 hour chat/visit with a lonely old guy who can barely walk was harmless to either you or DH. I doubt BM would have went in and visited if she pulled up and saw your car parked in driveway inside having Easter dinner. By having DH text and make a big to-do and banning her forever more from 'your family' you've opened the door for the ridiculous texting war and any farther fall-out from the incident. Hell, it's not like BM is planning to bring her ex-FIL up to the hospital while you deliver. Put it into perspective...the mother of FIL's grandchildren went into his otherwise empty home and kept him company .
With that said...yes, BM was wrong in not allowing DH to have his parenting time with the skids if it were DH's weekend and/or holiday...be as angry over that and do whatever to assure it doesn't repeat (meaning file contempt if necessary to get BM to realize exchanges aren't optional). Your BM is a nut. But the less you give her to fed her fire (aka trying to control her AND your FIL) will just ramp up the crazy.
I think you're looking for an
I think you're looking for an argument that you're not going to win. Why would you ever want your loved ones exposed to toxic people. Like I've said, Dh family are too nice to say anything. They dislike Bm just as much as dh does, but they didn't want to "stir the pot". Dh and I are more then willing to look like the bad people and tell Bm to stay out of our lives/relatives lives. This is a boundary issue, this has not been her family for almost 8 years. This is my family now and she needs to understand that. As you can read my post above she is also high conflict and will hurt anyone in her path. A 70 year old man does not need to be near that path.
You can think what you want and share your family if you want, but for me that's a no-go.