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I Survived The Weekend *Long Vent*

Midwest Stepmom's picture

Tonight DH finally stood up to BM! This makes me so happy. We have been together for 8 years, I was his GF immediately after his divorce from cheating Bat Sh*t Crazy BM. We have been married for 3.5 years, so I have experienced everything with him.

Thursday – BM calls DH saying that she has a work thing to attend and meeting at their half way mark at the designated time would be impossible. It’s a 2 hour drive for each BM and DH. BM said that she was coming down this way that evening with her husband for an event and would be willing to drop him off at our house. She said she would be here before 10pm, she also said that she would pick up SS12 from our house on Sunday at 6:30pm. DH agreed to this as long as the missed hours from Friday would be added to Easter weekend. She was reluctant to agree, but my DH said “fine, you can meet me out our pick up location at the CO time”. Knowing that she could not comply with this, she finally agreed.

Friday – They showed up at 10:45pm at our house. BM and DH do not speak unless it’s through text message (usually), so there is written documentation for everything. When SS12 was dropped off, DH texted BM and said; “since you were 45 minutes late you can either pick him up Sunday at 7:15 or add the additional time to Easter weekend”. She texted back saying that all deals are off and now he will just meet her at the half way point on Sunday at 6:30pm. My DH said Nope.

Saturday – no communication from BM

Sunday – DH texted BM at 6pm to give him a 5 minute warning as to when they will be at our house to pick up SS12 to ensure that he was ready. She said that they were at the half way point waiting and that DH “better hurry up”. DH stated that he had no intention on meeting her and that SS12 was waiting for her to come pick him up. That this is what they agreed upon on Thursday. They played texting cat and mouse for two hours and she just sat at the meeting place that is two hours away waiting for us. DH called the police to report that he was not “kidnapping” his child, and explained the situation and got a case number. Police said it was a civil matter and that they would not get involved.

Side Note: BM would have driven almost right by our house to get on the road back to their destination.

BM tried telling DH that she was going to have him arrested for kidnapping, truancy, and unlawful restraint. She is a security guard and completed one semester of college, so “she knows the law”. Finally she got it through her head that we were not meeting her. Then she tried to tell DH that he was going to meet her at a public place of her choosing and that there was no debating on this. After texting back in forth for awhile again, she got it through her head that we were not leaving the house.

11pm she shows up with two police officers. We made her stand outside in the cold while the police officer talk to DH. He explained, and that was it. Nothing else was said from the officer, she just made a comment that it must have been a miscommunication of where the pickup should have been.

DH called the police and asked why they came to the house when they said they would not get involved. I guess BM requested a Domestic Police Escort because she was afraid. REALLY?!?! BM and DH have been doing this for 8 years and there has never been any mention of being afraid. He has never even raised his voice at me when we get into minor arguments. His theory to everything is kill them with kindness.

She is now saying that she is going to deduct this time from his next visitation. GO AHEAD! Because we will have it documented that you failed to show at the designated time. I do get pleasure knowing she had to drive 2 hours back to our location, and has to make a 4 hour trip back to her house. She wont get home until 5am and has to work at 6am.

Comments

moeilijk's picture

Your DH is awesome! Way to stand his ground! Too bad about the text-fest at night, and too bad that SS12 won't get good sleep for school Monday. But meh, BM did it to herself.

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

You may or may not realize how lucky you are that your DH has nads! And smart too. We went through this too, but we had the judge change the custody exchange location to the police station (did I mention evil/crazy ex?) My SO's ex withheld the kids for 3 months because we are happy (as in happy w/o skids and sometimes happy with). Especially the SD who was a thumb-sucking blankie carrying 11 (not kidding and not delayed, at least not in the sense that she should have been) at the time was distraught. Finally a friend recommended going to the custody exchange each time, buying a gum or soda and taping the receipts to paper to show the judge. She was eventually fined $1,500. You won this battle. Now that you claim victory, she is out for a little taste of sweet "revenge" . Trust me. Let her "deduct" the time and don't even act phased. You are probably all hyped up and say, "What?! No way. Then she will win. Actually think reverse psychology." You and DH act nonchalant about it. You win, the child wins and the ex THINKS she wins. You can still keep it in the record (document, document, document) and potentially use it against her later. Believe me. She is doing her record keeping. Go back and get a copy of the police report. Brother left wife to move in here. Cops showed up. SIL had called cops saying my brother had a gun. I requested they search car and brother said sure. I said please put it in your report. You will need all this later from the sounds of it. Ten years later and just spent 2 more times in court (not DR) by ex's choosing. Must miss seeing my SO now that kids are older. Keep doing what you are doing, but don't get caught up in this. There are far more important things in life. What makes me angry about this are two things: she put her children an uncomfortable situation because the two people they love more than anything (for the moment--wait til they are older and the pas sets in) "hate" one another; 2. that she involved police that someone getting robbed or worse might have needed at the time, and taxpayers unknowingly paid for her lie. She should be fined.