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Soccer mom is stuck

mamafaith28's picture

so, my SD14’’s BM and BD decided to let her choose where and when she spends time. BD has sole legal and physical but BM does get one weekend a month, every other holiday, and 8 weeks in summer. 

Everything was fine with driving 3 hours twice a month, knowing that SD was getting what she wanted. BM put her in Sea Cadets (military camp) which SD is good with. However, SD wants to be here for whole soccer season, which shortens her summer break with BM by 2 weeks, BM won’t budge. She says she is already losing enough time by putting her in camp for two weeks this summer, and one weekend a month. We have accommodated her, yet when it doesn’t benefit her, she goes back on her word. She lives 3 hours away and with this camp, it also takes time from us and also puts pressure on us to make sure she gets there, to camp, when she is with us. The driving usually falls on me. 

Do I finally put my foot down? I think so. 

Comments

futurobrillante99's picture

BM put her in summer camp - HER problem. Don’t wanna hear about it. Driving? I’d make that bio dads/BMs problem.

Who does BM allegedly care about more? SD or herself?

futurobrillante99's picture

BM put her in summer camp - HER problem. Don’t wanna hear about it. Driving? I’d make that bio dads/BMs problem.

Who does BM allegedly care about more? SD or herself?

yes I would put my foot down and decide what I want to do - then only budge as it suits me.

ndc's picture

I'm confused.  The Sea Cadets camp is on BM's time?  So why are you driving to that?

If finishing soccer is important to SD, can you offer BM 2 weeks at another time?   Or an extra holiday, or some additional weekends? I can understand BM not wanting to give up 2 weeks with SD, since she doesn't get that much time.  I'm sure she wouldn't want to lose those 2 weeks even if SD wasn't going to camp.

mamafaith28's picture

I get that, but for the past few months, we’ve given up our time so that SD can go to her moms for more than one weekend. That was the agreement. To do what SD wants. We have always offered extra time, however, when SD wants it, BM comes up with excuses. Initially, she told her she would have to do the 8 weeks down there for 4H, which SD loved, after SD agreed, she told her she wasn’t going to do the 4H and put her in the military camp. It’s fine with us as long as SD wants it. But now she’s taking extra time from us for not only 1 weekend at the camp a month, but also signing her up for other things on our weekends.