Trust, or lack thereof.
I have a Tumblr account, which I might use a few times every few months or so. I never post "personal" things, just re-blog memes, etc. It's something that I do to pass time occasionally. I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but last weekend, I mentioned this to DH. A few hours later (and far gone from the Tumblr topic), DH started this conversation:
DH: What email address did you use for Tumblr?
Me: .. why?
DH: Oh, just curious.
Me: Are you trying to log in to my account?
DH: Yeah, I want to see what you post.
Me: I'd prefer you didn't log into my accounts.
End of conversation. We were going to my parents' house that evening, so I decided to take a nap before we went. When I woke up, DH was smiling and giggling like a kid that knew he'd done something wrong. I asked him what was up, and after a few prods, he responded with "I figured out which email you used, and I saw what you posted on Tumblr". It made me furious, but we were celebrating my birthday that night, and I let it go.
I have nothing to hide, but that's not that point. If I am sending a text or looking at something on Facebook, etc., DH will make a point to come over and try to kiss me, so that he can look at my phone or computer. Once when DH and I were separated, he even told me that he would log into my online banking just to see where I had been spending money!
I knew that DH was creeping on more than just Tumblr, so before I went to bed last night, I changed the password on everything that I could think of. When I woke up this morning, I had a message on Facebook from DH asking why I had changed my passwords. A few minutes later, he sent another one that said, "oh, I see you didn't change the password on CreditKarma. Why?" WTF. He'd even been looking at my credit report?!
BM cheated on DH with her current husband, and I don't believe that DH has ever gotten over this. He doesn't trust ME, and I can't live that way. I have NEVER given DH a reason to not trust me. I AM NOT BM!
I feel like such a fool. I was out of this situation, and then my heart hit my brain with a bat and took off down the DH runway. Stupid, stupid, stupid.