nuthouse den mother.
I am not a mean spirited person by nature. But if I could have any wish in the world right now it would be to be locked in a room filled with voo-doo dolls that look like BM.
Where do I START?
Today STBH and I are waiting to hear from his atty. about wether or not there is to be a meeting for mediation between BM and STBH and the sharks. The question is hinged on custody. If BM agrees to hand over passport to BF, and to grant joint custody both legal and residential, then they will meet to settle the financial issues. STBH could care less about the money. BM claims she only wants money for her daughter's welfare, but to her, welfare is very oddly defined. If she says no on the custody issue, there will be no meeting, and we will file motions for custody and take legal actions against BM for kidnapping. Once again, we give her enough rope to hang herself.
As of this moment, BM does not know that STBH intends to fight for custody. She could find out any moment. Instead, she thinks she is simply waiting to hear wether or not STBH's attorney is able to make the meeting tomorrow.
So with the pending financial meeting, we discover that a sign has been placed in her storewindow saying business for sale. Curious timing no? I mean She lives in an apartment that is twice as expensive as ours, takes international vacations every five months, carries a real louis vuitton purse, but just a week before the finances are to be discussed she has to sell her business because she can't make ends meet?
So all of this happens to occur over the weekend of the child exchange. Now, I go to every exchange and carry a tape recorder. But I admit, I go this week with all guns loaded because there is just SO much a woman can take.
BM never thanked me for stepping in to pay for her daughters schooling. Instead, (she had her attorney send a letter to STBH requesting that we reimburse her for the entire past year's educational costs. When I made arrangements to pay for her daughters school, it was under the condition that BM actually GET her to school as her attendance was so poor during the previous year. She did, for two weeks. Then we get a call from daughters teacher saying that BM claims she will be unable to pay for april, (the month she closed her store and went to costa rica) and that I would have to pay that for her. I mean, does she even notice that she looks like a fool?
When we arrived at the exchange, BM dropped to her knees and began sobbing in front of daughter and police (stbh is protected by restraining order) about how she cannot keep her business afloat and has to sell, and how she cannot afford her rent and is getting food now from the local food pantry, and how she cannot afford the gas to take her daughter the ONE WHOPPING MILE to school. (Hello, PARIS FOR TEN DAYS and Costa Rica for FIVE???? seems if she had her daughters best interests in mind that could have bought a LOT of gas and food, no?)
She went on to say that her daughter needs to be with her dad more. (yes, we think so too. So hey, here's an idea - why not let him HAVE her more often?????). She tells us that daughter needs her mother to be stable and that while she has tried to keep it together, she is losing her mind. (so glad we are taping this.)
So STILL not having thanked me for paying for school, she proceeds to ask if we could pick daughter up and take her to and from school for the week. Yes, me, the very same woman she has accused of abusing her child. She is now asking me to take charge of her and drive her to school. I say no, unless she is willing to submit a letter which states that she completely trusts her daughter to be in my care. She had the weekend to think about it, and otherwise she would have to walk with daughter to school. Its only a frigging MILE. Frankly her a** could use the exercize.
So, the weekend goes swimmingly. Sunday comes along, and we drop daughter off. BM IS A WHOLE different woman. Walks in angry and begins yelling at STBH that she is going to simply take her daughter and move to south carolina where she can afford to live.
AGAIN, STBH is protected by a restraining order. We are IN the police station. Of course, the police are the husbands of her girlfriends. Not a WORD from them. So I chime in so that he doesnt have to speak to her. I tell her that we are all suffering financially, and that perhaps she should not have taken two vacations in five months. At which point she tells me that their finances are none of my business. (I assume she means that its only my business so far as I am capable of paying for her daughters clothing, pool membership and education when STBH is not even granted parenting time and I am not even her SM yet, but copy that, not my business.)
She begins crying again to STBH that she just needs to speak to HIM about her daughter, alone. So I get up to leave and as I am walking out of the station, I warn them to be adult in front of their daughter. What am I? The frigging nuthouse den mother??? As I leave, she literally SHOVES daughter into my arms saying "here, take her". Now it's pouring outside. And again, this woman has accused me of abusing her daughter. WHY AM I STANDING IN THE RAIN WITH HER WHILE THEY DISCUSS MONEY INSIDE THE POLICE STATION WHEN THEY ARE NOT PERMITTED TO TALK?????
So when they are done, they walk out, and she hands him a letter and tells him to have me call her at 10 pm to discuss me picking her daughter up and taking her to school in the morning. When we get home, I look at the letter. It is a card - the drawing on the front of it is a cat perched over a canary cage, with a canary in it. Hmm. Coincidence? I think not. Ity reads:
I am giving Lauren permission to transport _____ back and forth to school for the month of June. I am trusting Lauren to have _____ in her care.
Not exactly the letter I asked for.
So I call her. Speaker phone, tape recorder in hand. An HOUR long "conversation" (her usual monologue) about how bad her finances are. I keep telling her to discuss daughter, and to talk about the letter, and wether or not she trusts me (for the purpose of the tape). On and ON and ON she goes, not only does she trust me, she says, but she would like to open a business with me. Can anyone say FRUIT LOOP? And WAIT --- did that letter say the month of JUNE? I only agreed to TWO DAYS.
At some point, I tell her I have to go, and we get off the phone. In the morning, I pick up daughter and its pouring. Now mom owns a childrens consignment shop. Daughter is in BM's arms, in the rain, no raincoat. Lunch for the day is pizza (as BM is raising her daughter to be vegetarian). She is two lbs underweight and two inches shorter than the low average for her age. BM ignores daughter while yapping at me about her financial situation again.
Yap yap yap yap. She is like a little dog biting my ankles.
Now, I am off to pick up her daughter and go through it all again. And waiting for the attorney to call is like doom.
I am literally sick to my stomach with hatred.
Does it ever get better???????