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Speaking of Guilty Daddy...How do you handle it? Do the children really grow to be resentful?

LaMareOssa's picture

In my last blog from about an hour ago(lol) someone brought up Guilty Daddy. I never thought DH was like that until I realised he might not take the phone for fear of upseting and hurting SD.

I've noticed DH is really afraid of hurting/upsetting SD lately. I know living here with us is new, I know DOING homework is new to her and the same with bathing and being supervised etc etc...But, everything we have SD do is normal and it's what REAL parents do. DH has been making sure that SD does all of her homeowrk (which BM never did) He makes sure that SD showers daily (BM never enforced this either) Since SD has been here, she has been really happy. I know this because I'm the one who sees her the most now, unless she talks with BM then she gets quiet and reserved.

Anyway...I've noticed that DH is really afraid of upsetting SD. He doesn't let her get away with anyhting, but like the phone thing, he is afraid that if he tells SD she can't talk to her BM until they're at the supervised visit, that SD will be resentful of DH. I have told DH that SD may not understand now, but she will (hopefully) when shes older..She will eventually know that DH didn't "take her away from her mom" to hurt SD, to get back at BM, but he did it because it's whats best for her as a child.

So, from all of your experience, do these "broken" children really grow up to be resentful? Hateful towards DH for "ruining her life" I think it might be easier because I have been around SD since she was 3 and she is only 10 so she will have time to learn and adjust to her new life.

What is your experience with this? And also, how do you handle the Guilty Daddy?

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

My skids revel in guilty dad. They get so much bought for them from dad and a lot of freedom. They are all more like peers than father/son father/daughter.

I handle it by ignoring. Getting frustrated only hurt me, no one else. He's the one that has to deal with them when they are grown and irresponsible whiney entitled adults.

I really feel for you. Your DH needs to get a spine and stop being such an emotional parent. yes you feel back, but its not in your best interest to let it change your parenting.