Just caught SD in a lie from yesterday. Big deal. Need advice..how would you handle this situation?
Yesterday SD12 and DD7 wanted to go on a bike ride around the block. I don't like the idea of them being alone together or being alone from the house without an adult. DH thinks it's okay as long as SD has her cell phone on her in case something happens.
So, they ask DH. He says yes but the conversation goes like this:
DH: SD do you have your phone with you and on?
SD: Yes, I have my phone.
DH: Okay, if you need to call, call LaMares phone because I'm going to be outback and don't have my phone on me.
SD12: Okay.
They take off on bikes and are home 10 minutes later.
I had this feeling SD didn't have her phone. She never has her phone and always leaves it at her grandparents house when she goes every other weekend. I am observant and haven't seen the phone in weeks.
I just checked Sprint. DH put GPS on SD's phone. The phone is out of city....at her grandparents house. SHE DIDN'T HAVE HER PHONE! She lied to DH's face!!!!
I want to tell DH this "Your daughter is a damn liar and I don't trust her"
But in reality, I don't want to come off as being stalker like. How do I mention to DH that I did a gps check without sounding like a crazy SM? If this were DD, I would hand her ass to her, but obviously with Skids, most of us need to be..whats the word??? More gentle? I guess
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hmmm...Maybe just tell him
hmmm...Maybe just tell him that your DD can not go ride with SD anymore. That you did not think she had her phone with her the other day so you checked it and the phone is not even in town. Then leave it at that! lol
You are going to want to rub it in his face that his DD is a liar liar pants on fire, but all that is going to do is put him in defensive mode and he will probably go buy his DD something for "ONLY" lying about the phone. GAG!
Honesty is ok! "I thought it
Honesty is ok!
"I thought it was odd SD agreed to bring her phone yesterday when I haven't seen it in three weeks and presumed it was at the grandparents. I checked and it is. I'm glad nothing happened, but I'm not ok with the fact she took DD7 unsupervised after lying about this." Let HIM address the lying. Make YOUR issue your DDs safety.
And then be quiet. Even if it's an uncomfortably long silence.
mykidsmom...good idea, but
mykidsmom...good idea, but then her DH may just say he checked it and all is good. It is in her bedroom. lol
Heres what usually happens
Heres what usually happens when SD12 doesn't really have her phone..DH has asked before with a different situation when SD didn't actually have the phone .....
DH: Wheres your phone SD?
SD:Oh, it's dead.
DH......ok.....
End of discussion.
I know kids lie. Not just skids. I was a kid once. I didn't lie about my kindle, or my phone, or ipad, or ipod...We didn't have those 30 years ago. But I did lie to my mom on occasion. So, I know in order to make sure a 4 yr old, 7 yr old, and even 15 year olds have something important, as a parent, you should make them present it to you so you can actually see said item. Not because you assume all children are liars, but just because. Because a lot of times, kids lie to avoid getting in trouble.
I'm just going to tell SD
I'm just going to tell SD that I need to use her phone. She will likely say its dead and I will tell her thats okay "I will charge it as I make my call"
The truth will be out and DH can handle the info that is presented to him.
DD7 will not be going anywhere alone with SD again. Now I know for a fact that she is a liar. If she lies about forgetting something somewhere, what else will she lie about if something major happens?
That is how I would handle it
That is how I would handle it put it on your SD to produce her phone for whatever reason then your DH can handle the dishonesty. I also wouldn't let my bio go anywhere with her EVER!! My SD15 lies about everything I am sure it started out with little lies when she was younger now she lies all the time!!! SO didn't handle it back then and she got away with it and it gave her POWER and that is dangerous.
She has lied to SO so many times I couldn't even begin to count yet he believes every word out of her mouth. Yet he questions my integrity when I bring up her lies and I haven't lied to him :? :? Go figure???
Why don't you ask SD to show
Why don't you ask SD to show you her phone? A simple, "Hey SD, get you phone for me." You are the adult, you don't have to explain why. I don't give explanations to children. A phone is a luxury not a necessity. I do this to SD9 all the time. Especially when I've found her phone and she pretends to know where it is. Do it in front of DH. She'll either lie to both of you, or have to come clean. I have to admit though, it's fun to watch them squirm a bit.
I'm clueless about tracking
I'm clueless about tracking devices, did you make a call or go online? Asking bc if you went online, you can bring your DH to the computer and show him what you discovered than ask him how she had her fone on her when her fone is at her Grandparents. Nothing wrong with looking into something when you have a strange feeling about it.
I went online through the
I went online through the phone company's site. DH put a "Family Locator" on SD's phone in case BM tries to run off with SD or if something else were to happen. I have no problem showing DH the location of the phone, I just hate coming off as a sneaky bitch who does not trust his daughter. Even though, OBVIOUSLY, she can't be trusted.
Maybe you can bring it up as
Maybe you can bring it up as you being a worry wort about your own child and used the tracker tool to check on them while they were gone. I might not make a thing out of this incident but use it as an example of why you with he would not be so trusting when the 'girls' tell them something.
Personally I feel that having
Personally I feel that having the requirement of a phone for going around the block is excessive. What do you think is going to happen where a phone is a necessity? If she isn't mature enough to look out for her 7 yo sister then a phone isn't going to suddenly change that. If your neighborhood is so dangerous then should they be out at all?
Most neighborhoods are
Most neighborhoods are dangerous. No matter the city, state, or providence. Many things could happen. DH and I have our reasons a phone is needed. Besides, usually the point of having a cellular phone is to keep it on your person when outside of the house..If not, then a house phone is usually used. I see no point in having a cell phone if it's not going to be used while mobile.
Can you just ask SD to borrow
Can you just ask SD to borrow SD phone in front of DH? YOU know she doesn't have it, so what is she going to say? She'll probably look the fool trying to make up some excuse, which would give you a valid reason for feeling "fishy" about it and checking GPS (which you already did
)... THEN you can tell DH and bring up the fact that she lied not once, but twice and in doing so the first time, put YOUR daughter at danger.