I really need help here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIL advise!!! What would YOU do?!?!??!?!
I Really Really need help with my MIL!!!! I need ALL of your thoughts and advise. DH and I are really lost as what to do. Please help!!!
I will make this as short as possible. MIL is a very controlling woman. When DH was a child she kept him on a very short leash. When DH had SD he had to stop talking to his mom for a long time because of something she did/said to SD and him. Then fast forward to when our DD(5) was born. I talked DH into lettng his mom see our daughter. Their relationship got better and MIL was always seeing/watching DD for us and always taking her places. Then things got weird. MIL started acting like DD was HER daughter. Now, get this...MIL has always treated SD like CRAP! I know, it's usually the ooposite around here lol. Then we had BS2 and nothing changed and she has basically ignored our son his entire life. She still favors DD5.
MIL has always been really good to DD. But, shes spoiling DD to the point where she is starting to have attitude towards DH and I and act entilted (which I will NOT tolorate). Mil just got back from out of country a few days ago to take all of us, including SD to DisneyLand. MIL treated SD and our son really crappy and was giving our daughter everything she asked for and did everything she wanted. Then in the airport..MIL lost it. DH and I went to get the kids something to eat because it was getting late and when we got back (10 minutes later) they were starting to board first class. We're in coach fyi. MIL started yelling at DH about how he shouldnt have gotten the kids food and now were not the first ppl to get on the plane. Long story short...MIL starts calling DH an asshole in front of BS BD and SD. Calling him a jerk, asshole and other names. DH did say "fuck you" to MIL an she threated to "kick his ass" DD starts crying and we tell her to stand with us because she needs to stay in line to board like everyone else (mil was trying to cut to the front) And telling DD that daddy is an asshole!!!!!!!!
Now...Heres where I need help. MIL is a teacher. Shes out for the summer and here in the USA for the summer. She comes over to our house to get DD and I tell her that DH and I have decided that its not fair for her to pick up DD and take her to the fair, zoo, parks, shopping and exclude BS2. She says that she will NOT bring our son. MIL say she is here to see [DD5] I told her that this will be the last time she gets DD without bringing BS with ehr. It's not fair. He knows that his sister gets to leave with gramma while he stays home. She said "well, if you want to play this game then I will bring both kids if you come along and watch your son while I play with DD" I said no, I shouldnt have to supervise you with your grandchildren. I have things to do. If you want to see DD, then you must bring BS with you. You can not continue to ignore and exclude him, he understands now. You see one, you see both. MIL has always wanted a daughter.
Now, DH and I are to the point where we dont want our kids around MIL. She acts like SD and BS are nothing and treats our DD like royalty. What should we do? I dont want to hurt DD5 by telling her that she cant see grandma, but I dont want our son to feel left out!! I'm so lost on this!!!
And, I may have left this out...She treats my step daughter like crap, so it's not that she favors girls over boys..she has two grand daughters and one grand son. She totally ignores SD and has done so for many years and is starting to ignore our son as well. Also..some of the things she says about DH, SD and I to DD is close to PAS. Very strange.
What would you do???????????