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Not sure how to handle this.

Lalena75's picture

My ds has a sports award thing coming up last year I couldn't go so exh and dd went. Rhis year I can go, my SO has been involved helping at practice, we're at all games, heck last game one of my son's teammates had a medical emergency (seized and passed out hitting his head on the concrete from that stupid passout/choking game and altered consciousness I being a newly licensed emt(doing my internship still) jumped right in and handled it then helped the medics. So exhs gf ran to the store and bought a bunch of treats and drinks for the team. So we're all involved and well known.
okay the point is the paper for the awards says immediate family only neither exh or I are remarried I want to go I have no issue going without SO in the same area as exh and SO is okay if thats what happens and Idk if exh will go if his gf can't so who goes? I want my son to at least have both his dad and I there. His gf isvalways hostile and not pleasant when I'm in close proximity but I ignore it and act like an adult even though it hurts and she has no sensebof decency when it comesbto appropriate dress for events which embarasses me for her but eh (she is apparently jealous of me and hates me because I'm the exw) I don't want hostilities but I don't want anyone to feel left out. So what should I do? Can our SO's go to an immediate family only thing?

Comments

StickAFork's picture

No. Immediate family only is just that... IMMEDIATE FAMILY. Your SO and XH's SO aren't even stepparents (in the eyes of the law) because neither of you are married.
You're saying you want to bring your boyfriend to your son's event. He is NOT immediate family.

The schools have limited resources. It used to be kid brought both parents. Two people. Nowadays, there's both parents, a few SOs, and then the assorted other kids, stepkids, half kids, etc. Space is limited.

At the very least, I would call and ask. I would NOT just assume boyfriends are included as immediate family. That's very presumptuous.

StickAFork's picture

I call bullshit.
I usually agree with you...but you couldn't be more wrong here.

Mom's boyfriend is NOT the immediate family member of the son.
This isn't even the kid's stepfather. It's MOM'S BOYFRIEND.

The kid has a father...he attended last year. The kid does NOT need a "proxy/standin" father. He has one who is involved in his life.

Lalena75's picture

Well I think this year all of us would be available to go me/SO, dad/gf and dd. I guess I'm more concerned with if our respective SO's shouldn't go (the potential drama) as exh and I are the only ones that do parent teacher conf the gf and my bf are okay with that but this is a little different as our SO's are more involved (well his gf brought snacks once) mine helps at practice and games. How do I handle them being excluded my SO is okay about being left out he understands that happens but exh may refuse if his gf is excluded even if my SO is. I text the coach he hasn't responded yet. I just don't want anyone to be hurt by it or like I'm doing it on purpose.