Disrespectful SS
My stepson is for the most part a nightmare. At first, when I was watching then, it was nice. The two boys were respectful. They cleaned after themselves, got themselves ready whenever we were going somewhere. They were good kids.
Then for whatever reason, recently their mother has been nice to them again. She got the stimulus and tax returns which because she got to claim the two kids I spend all my time with, let's just say she got a lot of money, and all of my husband's tax returns went to back child support from a previous marriage (that's a whole other story we won't talk about) So my tax return and stimulus was spent on catching up on bills.
After she got the money, she's been taking them to places, vacations, and such, which is nice and truly makes me happy that she's spending time with her kids for once, and every morning when they show up they come with nothing but fast food. She's spending a lot of money on them.
This caused SS9 the other day to tell me that his dad is broke so he likes his mom more. He said at least she can afford to pay her bills. I left that comment alone because It's not my place to inform her that most of his check goes to her. I told my husband about it and from what he said he was going to talk to him about it. Don't know how true that is but again, not my kids, not my place.
Everything was normal, they have been the typical disrespectful, not cleaning up after themselves, not waking up in the morning. Whatever.
This morning I told SS9 to wake up for school and after 4 attempts, I told him that if I had to go upstairs again, he wasn't going to play MY Xbox today. The Xbox that is actually mine, that I allow him to play on sometimes.
he told me that I'm not allowed to parent him just because I can't have my own kids.
I don't know where it came from, or how he knows that I can't have kids of my own, but I didn't even know how to respond to that. I have been sitting in my room sulking like a child because I don't even feel comfortable in my own house anymore.
If anyone reads my previous posts, they weren't even supposed to be here anymore. My husband and their BM told me they can't find babysitters they can both afford right now and that COVID made it harder and more expensive and gave me some excuses. I suggested they went to actual school and BM had a shit attack that I don't care about their safety and blah blah.
I know if I tell my husband about what he said, he's going to be on him and pretty much take away everything, because he does actually step up when it comes to stuff like that, but I am at the point where I don't even want to deal with them anymore. He acts and sounds just like his mother.
I don't know, rant over.
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disconnect
your XBox now and lock it in your car trunk. that crap don't fly.
AgedOut has the right idea.
AgedOut has the right idea. That would be the last time he used my Xbox for a very long time.
SS, I am not parenting you. Your dad is at work, and while he is gone, I am the adult in charge. You have school. Get up now and get ready. School is not a choice. It is a requirement at age nine. You can discuss this with your dad when he gets home. But, now get up and get ready for school.
If dad does not back you up, tell him that he needs another plan for his child as you will not be trying to get his child up ever again.
Stop looking after someone else's kids
Sorry if this sounds blunt but you need to just stop. It is not your problem that their parents are broke or don't want them to go to in person school. You are not responsible for them and stopping being the unpaid, disrespected nanny.
Plus tell your SS "you are a child in my house, therefore I as the adult have the right to tell you what to do. End of."
Edit - I'd definitely be following the other posters advice about locking up that xbox. It would be vanished for forever.
Tell them NO. Don't be there
Tell them NO. Don't be there when BM drops them off. Stop letting them convince you that you are their only option.
That is an awful thing to say
That is an awful thing to say to you. I would be livid. I would be taking that XBox away and never letting him use it again. I would be telling my DH what that little disrespectful brat said. And I would not be watching them for your DH and BM EVER again! Time for them to figure it out.
That must have been really
That must have been really hurtful. Children, step or not, really know how to push your buttons. But they also don't have much remorse or empathy yet.
I used to do a lot of unpaid childcare but bit by bit I've reclaimed most of my time and made it clear that I'm not the default childminder just because I'm at home. In at home but that doesn't mean I do nothing. I didn't blow up and say 'I'm done you need to figure something else out' but each week I would say 'I know BM isn't working today is there any reason she can't have her children instead of me?' After doing that ten times it became clear to them both that if they need me they need to 'book' me and I may or may not say yes.
It's so hard when your skids are rude or mean because you don't always have the strong bond to love them despite of it. I know my skids can detect that I've become a bit more detached but it's a matter of self preservation. I try not to get into situations where they will have an opportunity to upset me. Some children really thrive on it and you might want to make it clear immediately that you're not here for it!