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krissykat's picture

I've been hesitant to post on here because most people go into attack mode and it makes me nervous but I just have a question.

I want to take the sk to my and the husbands home town for thanksgiving but the only time we could get a flight was the week before break meaning they would have to have 2 days off of school. We have them for thanksgiving this year because of alternating years even though that's never followed and I end up having them for both holidays but whatever.

In order to be able to take them because of the two days off of school do I legally have to have her permission if those days are in our visitation anyway? School is the only reason it makes it difficult because I know wothout I'm allowed to take the kids where ever out of state as long as I tell her two weeks before but because of having to take two days off do I have to have her permission?

if I do... can y'all give me advice on how to get her to agree... sometimes she's friendly, other times she's a major c you next tuesday

dont attack my husband please.. I am the one that communicates with her because everytime they call it turns into a screaming match. 


The_Upgrade's picture

Check with your lawyer. It all depends on state laws and the current custody order. 

tog redux's picture

Depends on the custody situation. If he has joint custody, he has the right to do that on his visitation time. If BM is high conflict, be careful - if the kid has school problems she could try to use it as a reason to take his time away.  So clear it with the teacher first (not sure old skid is - if they are a teen this is harder) and then send BM an email with the plan and that he consulted the teacher and got work for the kid to complete while he/she was out.


I'm sorry you feel like everyone goes on attack mode all the time. 

Rags's picture

Your time is to do with as you please.  Unless there is a stipulation otherwise in the CO.  

Our CO was clear.  SS couldn't miss school for visitation with the NCP.  There was no such stipulation that applied to the CP (my DW) though had they ever known about it and initiated a CO review over it I am sure it would have been implied.  SS's visitation schedule with his SpermClan was long distance.  5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring.

TMI applies.  Go with the "if she doesn't  task, don't tell" tactic.

Enjoy your holiday.

justmakingthebest's picture

My kids usually miss the week of Thanksgiving to visit their dad who is out of state. I have never had a problem doing as a BM, Thanksgiving flights are always the most expensive of they year. When their dad was in CA (we are in VA) the price difference would be up to $300 PER KID to miss a couple of days of school. 

Now that their dad is drivable, we will still probably have them miss one day of school just so they aren't stuck driving on the day before Thanksgiving. It is hard to host for your family and be on the road for 6 hrs! 

** BM2 would never allow such a thing, but she is a B**CH. So hopefully the BM you deal with is more realistic and understands time and costs. **