almost EVERY night we have the skids for dinner....except Wed nights and every other weekend. Last night my SS bitched and moaned about dinner and I said "OK--well instead of making you eat it and you getting a spanking" (like his father usually does) "The choices are---eat half of your dinner...or shower and go to bed early" --His father had already agreed to this choice.
The Skids BM does not feed them breakfast or lunch and only dinner on Wed and EOW so she just lets them eat whatever they like......
I am not doing that---they are picky eaters---but the 2 SD's are whiney sometimes but they eat half. (It isn't huge portions to begin with either)
My SS though---he is always in a mad mood---if you have read any prior posts..he is the thorn in my side and his fathers. He doesn't even negotiate--and I am sick and tired of even trying to do that.
so--last night after I told him--eat half or go to bed early--he fell on the living room floor and started to have a tantrum...crying..hitting/kicking the floor...just a lovely mess. His father told him to get up and he said "No!" so--by all means---my ideas can go out the door if he is going to backtalk. So after arguing with his father--his father made him go to his room....Where he proceeded in hitting the walls..slamming the door and screaming about how much he hated us and how mean we are to him. His father went in there and they screamed back and forth at each other and finally I told him to just ignore him and eat dinner.
So the girls, their father and I ate dinner as their brother made a ruckus in his bedroom. We ignored him--He fell asleep.
This morning he ate 3 bowls of cereal and then went off to school. (the school normally feeds them breakfast and lunch when their mother has them)
This evening was the start of the weekend at our house and the skids were dropped off by BM. (shocking I know...she REALLY wanted to go party to get off her ass and drop them off) I had talked to the girls the night before and we decided I would cook cheese lasagna for dinner tonight (All 3 skids like it)
I am putting it in the oven as they walk in the door and my SS says "Ewwww! Gross! I am not hungry!" I said "Well maybe in an hour when the food is cooked you will be--or you can go to bed early again." Their father was still at work---which is rare..but he had a project to complete.
An hour passed and dinner was ready for the skids.. I gave them all 3"x3" square of home made cheese lasagna. My youngest SD whined but sat down and ate her salad first and half her portion. My eldest SD ate her salad and food and ate another portion..telling me how good it was. and my SS started his tantrum again..but this time I was alone. He slammed the wooden chair into the table..and he started freaking out. I told him again what options he had and he talked back to me. I ignored him until he started talking ugly to me. He had earlier that evening told me I was too fat to pick up something off the floor---in which I told him that was rude..and he snickered. I told him to go to his room and he was rude again. I grabbed his arm and strong armed him into his bedroom. He started to fight me--punching, shoving, scratching, so I restrained his arms and he went into a rage. Screaming at the top of his lungs. I told him "You need to quit this before it gets even more out of hand!" He kept trying to get out of the room..he wanted to leave the house. He tried to slip past me and I grabbed him.. "I said, I may be fat--but I am also much stronger too" (the girls saw it all from the dinner table) I grabbed his shirt and it made that ripping noise but did not rip. He FREAKED about that--(football jersey) and jumped onto his bed crying and screaming at me. I walked out of his room and he slammed the door behind me.. throwing shit everywhere.. banging on the walls. I was shaking...I knew I had the strength to really hurt him but I stopped myself. I needed to be the adult and if his father was there--he would of never hit/scratch me. Right then--when he touched me I wanted to throw him against the wall. I called his father and explained the situation. He told me I could spank him but I said "No" He asked to speak to my SS but my SS kept refusing to..and once almost threw my phone. I told him "If you DARE throw my phone..you will get it." He then grabbed it and started sobbing/talking to his father. He kept making shit up that did not mesh with the story then backtracking. So--even if the little shit wanted to be truthful...his father did not believe anything. He kept hanging up on his father. So the last call my boyfriend told me "I am going to be home in 5 minutes to spank him and then go back to work." I told him that wasn't going to fix anything---and that calming him down was all I wanted. --I just walked away from him and shut his door.
This little boy has some major issues....with the divorce..with being the middle child/only boy..with having entitlement issues and not getting his way..with his mother letting him do mostly whatever he wants...(his mother calls sometimes to have my boyfriend/her ex talk to their son when he is being shitty to her..but she usually just gives in when he is mad.) This little boy is shitty and demanding to EVERYONE..not just me.. he is just an angry kid.
I feel bad for him--because he does not know how to cope....and he is stubborn..but what else can we do? His father understands the divorce is/was hard on the kids...and the un-stableness of their mother and her boyfriends of the month are hard on them...but what can him and I do to show him that we do care...and we aren't "always mean to him"
He told me once he calmed down that we are always mean...I said "how are we mean to just you but not your sisters???--you need to look at yourself and check your attitude...I am not mean to someone that treats me well...and you have never treated me well--and even then I am nice to you--until it goes too far."
He is not the type of child you can talk to either...he shuts you out, puts his hands over his ears..walks off, tells you to shut up or no...
UGH--I am not trying to win this little shit over..I just want a dinner..and evening of NO DRAMA!!!!AND God knows what his BM is going to try and pull when he tells her I hit him..(which I never did..)
Any ideas? duct tape is not an answer.