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Just need to vent...

my.kids.mom's picture

One of the problems I have with my bf is how he feeds his kids. He has a picky eater and has to bribe her to eat ANYthing healthy and then she eats two bites of healthy food and a ton of crap. Today I brought lasagna to his house and he got asparagus, salad, and bread. Like a dummy I fed my kids ravioli and asparagus at lunch, so at dinner my daughter9 didn't want lasagna. So she had two bowls of salad, more asparagus and 3 pieces of garlic bread, plus my leftover soup from lunch. I also gave her dr. pepper bc I told her if she drank her water bottle full of water throughout the day, she could have some pop at dinner. So bf gets mad because she ate all that bread. Idk why it matters...and he is concerned bc HIS kids only got 1 piece of bread each. So then he says something about how he gives his kids ice cream for eating their dinner, and he is in a tough spot because she (my dd) isn't eating all her food...how is it going to look to his kids? To which I replied, "she had two bowls of salad, asparagus, and finished my soup from lunch while you were gone...what is the problem?" And then I said, because it bothered me during the day (but I said NOTHING), "It's no different from me having to tell my kids they have to drink water all day while yours drink pop, capri-sun, etc..."

Then I realized how none of this EVER bothers him unless he has his kids. When they are not here, he is singing my daughter's praises. She is awesome, great, funny, takes care of him (she does pedicures on him and 'does' his hair...) but when his kids are here, she can't do anything right...why is that????!!!!!!!

On another note, I figured out why his youngest acts like a baby MOST of the time. Saw her mom holding her on her hip like a freakin toddler, not for a second, for like 5-10 minutes. She actually had to change sides. And she was playing peak-a-boo with her! THE GIRL IS 7!!!!!!!!!!!!! So then she came and sat with us, where she nestled onto her sister's lap, continuing the "baby" routine, and when bf didn't say anything (even though he was as alarmed as I was at the bm holding her like that) I got up and changed seats (so I could "see the game better"). IDK why these times have to be so difficult. I make a point of holding my tongue as much as possible. And then it's like a slap in the face for my bf to comment on my daughter's diet when she eats very well, is not picky at all, etc. I just wish I really knew what makes him do it...

bearcub25's picture

My SS12 plays baby with his 11yo sister, and SS is the baby. Really sickening I think. I remember my DS and DD at those ages and they were into sports, computers, opposite sex and friends. SS has mental or emotional problems that have never been addressed before until now.

Some of the things they say when they play baby are disgusting....quiet baby, CPS is here....welfare gonna take you away baby if you do such and such again........we can't get food now baby b/c I don't have my food stamps yet (this is from before they were taken from BM, they do hear me say 'I can't go grocery shopping until I get paid so go easy of the food).

It has finally gotten thru to SO that his baby boy is very very immature and he also sees that the early years of BMs parenting has hurt his kids more than he knew at the time. All 3 of them are at least 5-7 years behind socially and mentally. OSS was tested out at 5th grade level and he is 18. SS12 is on about a 5yo scale socially and emotionally, but he is very smart. SD is close to her 11yo mentally but socially she is about 7yo.

my.kids.mom's picture

Ugggghhhh I hate when the girls play "house"! I'll call them "sd's" for simplicity even though they aren't my sd's. DD9, SD8, and SD7 play house. SD8 ALWAYS wants SD7 to be the baby. ALWAYS. DD9 always says no, SD8 says yes, and after they are done playing SD7 can't get out of the baby mode. DD9 has to tell her to stop and she does not. So on the way home tonight I told her that if SD8 insists on SD7 being the baby, simply don't play. OMG I can't imagine this not getting better. SD8 does have developmental delays. SD7 doesn't have learning problems, but she thinks she's 3-4 yrs old. Kids can't do anything for themselves. My kids, DD9 and DS10 are very independent. DD9 is actually a year ahead in school and at least two years ahead socially. She is into fashion, hair, shoes, makeup, jewelry, hairbows, etc. When she dresses she looks like a miniature woman LOL. So imagine the contrast...and how frustrating it is get your own kids to be independently functioning, ahead of where they should be and then these kids coming in. And bf doesn't help much because they are "his babies". His son is great...no problems there. It's the daddy/daughter thing. Sooooo many issues. But I still don't know why he turns into the DD9 monitor only when his kids are around. Is he jealous? Anyone deal with this?