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Interesting trend with SS

justmakingthebest's picture

Since this summer, SS has only taken one of the court mandated facetime phone calls. They are at 9:30 pm our time and difficult for DH since he has to be up at 4am. 

SS answered a facetime from DH yesterday wishing him happy birthday. He was at work and clocked out for a break so he could talk to DH. 

He will also respond to texts from DH while he is at work. We have been seeing that over the last month. Nothing big or detailed but he will respond.

He won't answer or respond when he is at home.

Could this be the turn around for him? Is he starting to stop seeing DH as some kind of enemy? Maybe he isn't ready to take BM on and tell her to back off, but maybe he is willing to try with DH when there isn't any criticism or  Interrogation?


tog redux's picture

Maybe - or BM has just told him he has to speak to his father because there is court coming up. If there was no court, I'd be more optimistic, because that's how my SS returned - he just started responding one day after years of not doing so.

justmakingthebest's picture

She was served 3 weeks ago and he didn't answer any of those court calls... only while he is at work.

I think it will be interesting to see if he answers this Tuesday or if he only responds next weekend while he is at work.

Time will tell I guess

tog redux's picture

Although - DH was in court too when SS started responding - and he'd stop and start contact again for the first year or so, going a couple months here and there without responding. Now, 2 years later, he responds all the time and even initiates.

It could possibly be a good thing - fingers crossed.

SteppedOut's picture

Or maybe it is because Christmas is now approaching and he hopes to get presents... 

justmakingthebest's picture

We made it clear to him last year that he would get nothing from us if he didn't get on the plane. We won't buy his love and to be a receiver of gifts, he must be an active part of our family.

He is supposed to be here this year, if he doesn't show we will return anything we buy for him. 

Ispofacto's picture

I wonder when BM will start going through his phone like a jealous lover.  Then SS will be in big trouble.


tog redux's picture

I always thought that too, but I think BM in our situation was more subtle. It was less about "if you call your father, I'll punish you," and more about "you are betraying me if you call your father," so SS didn't really want to because he didn't want to hurt BM.

Harry's picture

You must realize that BM and SS are playing games.  You take BM to court, they slap her hand, SS comes over for a week. Then it all starts over again.  All you are doing is wasting time, money and causing you to go insane. 
Nothing is going to change until SS wants to change it. 
He setting you up.  To think all is well, he coming for Christmas, then he will not get on the plane.  Then it. All starts over again . Again, again. 
Hate to say this. But it's time to give up, until SS reaches out to you for real.  
unyil then, no gifts no exter money, no nothing 

justmakingthebest's picture

The onnlllyyyy reason I dont agree 100% is it started before she was served or knew anything about it since our lawyer was super sucky. 

It might be a set up, but why wouldn't he answer at the court mandated times? You would think if BM was behind it, she would make him play nice right before court. Last time before court things got worse, not better. Then right after court it got really bad. 

I dont have my hopes up and I still think SS is a gigantic douche but... maybe him talking to DH away from BM is a good sign.... that there might be some hope for down the road?

NeedCoffee's picture

Not knowing much about the dad/son relationship prior to this time, just based on what you have written here, I would read the situation as you are. SS only contacts Dad when at work, because he doesn't want to rock boat with BM.