BM is at it again
DH is supposed to have weekly facetime calls with SS. They were first suggested at 8:30pm one day a week, he suggested a day. Suggestion from the GAL - never an order. At first that was fine, 9:30 pm our time was later than we liked because we are up at 5:30am but not out of the question. Now DH is up at 4 am. Staying up until 10pm to be able to have a talk and then do his journal about it is ridiculous. He has a very high risk job in the navy. Peoples lives depend on him being able to think clearly. 9/10 times SS doesn't answer anyway so he is staying up for NOTHING.
Well, DH's current schedule thanks to Covid is a 24 hr shift every 3 days. He is home the other 2, which is nice but obviously will hit that weekly call day every few weeks. DH is trying to arrange another time. BM starts in on how he needs to call at the correct day and time. B**CH. There is no mandated time. Just a suggestion.
I told DH that he needs to tell her that since he is the only one working to support 2 homes since she only "volunteers" his schedule is more important. PLUS I looked up labor laws in KS for 15 yr olds. He is only allowed to work 3 hrs per day during the academic week. That means that if he works until 8 pm, DH should be able to call him a 4pm, no problem- or I can report the grocery store for child labor. Her freaking call.
God I hate this woman. All DH is trying to do is have a 15 min call with his kid once a week, at a reasonable hour so that he doesn't kill himself or someone else! What person in their right mind would have an issue with that????
- justmakingthebest's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Court order
The only way to fix this is to get the court order.
We are in the process of a
We are in the process of a new order. We were in court a few weeks ago and a new order is currently being written. We are working with our lawyer to get wording for this added. It is just freaking frustating.
So was there ever any
So was there ever any consequence to BM for all that she's done so far? Or did she get away with her alienation and her abuse of your DH and his finances as usual?
She was told that if SS
She was told that if SS misses another visit, she is going to jail for 30 days. From now until SS turns 18.
As for finances, that is all hanging in the balance right now. We are demanding tax returns, she keeps sending her social security disability W-2. Our lawyer keeps saying- no, tax returns. So she is dragging it out but the judge is copied on everything, so I don't think it is going to last much longer. We know she is hiding income. He will just impute her if she doesn't send over the tax return.
Don't expect BM to lift a
Don't expect BM to lift a finger because she doesn't have to. It's not in the order. She is going to make you spend hundreds if not 1K to have this added but only IF a Judge agrees. DH can call when he can and see if ss engages or not.
Your GAL is showing his hand again with a slight bias in moms favor. 1st with that ludicrous entry into dh's court order that you and dh can not have any booze in your home and/or have any booze in ss presences. GAL should have pounced all over that in concert with your lawyer. The curious part is when you wrote SS is ok with mom drinking and SS is ok when she does.
Justmakingthebest...your not part of the case--but they added YOU into the order? Why did your dh allow your freedom to be removed from you in your own private home OR in a public place/ No cocktails on vacation if ss is present, no toasts at wedding if ss is present?
2. edit to add. Not securing reasonable times in an order for video chat. Knowing full well what bm is all about. Chaaa ching,,,not in order. currently a suggestion? Thats rich of everyone.
How was ss during his visit? I know you said he acted like nothing was going on. You really didn't talk about it...I guess I figured with all the suspense and hype ...it was like it never happend at all.
Your bm will always "BE AT IT AGAIN",,,that is what they do. It's like a game of whack a mole, you know...look here, nope now look here...HERE Is a fire, nope over here is another fire. She is the pide piper and dh is dancing.
The more you play this game the louder her flute.
Sometimes Justmakingthebest,,,you have to stop.
I hear you, I really do.
I hear you, I really do.
What the GAL wrote, as far the the call times- would be reasonable for any sane person. His words "Father and SS should have weekly scheduled facetime calls. I have suggested ___day at 8:30 pm. Those calls should be kept to light topics to further facilitate their relationship. SS seems open to these calls."
The time was ok, before, but now it is unrealistic. Our lawyer just has to make sure that it is fixed in the amended order. Thanks to court closures and BM's attorney never responding, who knows how long it will take.
As for alcohol-- yes that is some stupid shit. DH and his attorney and I went round and round. At the end of the day, alcohol isnt THAT important to me (as I sit sipping my whiskey). Really though, not the hill to die on. We have 3 summers, 2 Christmases and 2 spring breaks left. 16 weeks over the next 2.5 years. Something would have to be wrong with me for that to be our hill to die on.
But she's NOT sane
and GAL should realize this. Sadly SS15 is permanently brainwashed and the cognitive dissonance will always be a factor.
Whack a mole indeed. Unless BM kicks him out at 18, he will always be a mombot who reports to the mothership.
We are still working off of a
We are still working off of a 2 yr old assesment. I think based on how the GAL was in court he sees that she isn't sane now, but he had already written and submited what he did.
I agree that the reality is SS is lost forever. Unless, fo course, he knocks up a broad just like his mother and has to go through everything his own father has. I think that is the only way he will ever see or understand. While I don't want to wish what DH has been through on anyone... I do in a very petty part of myself wish that SS does have to deal with this on some level in his life. I hope that BM is withheld from her grandchild like she has done to my MIL.
I think I may have figured
I think I may have figured out how to handle this.
SS wants to come out this summer in 2 trips because he wants to do an internship with the local mortician (Don't get me started on that, basically he is also SS's basketball coach in the no-stoplight town where SS lives. He is the only person in town with $$ so of course that's what SS wants to do when he grows up. Stay big fish in little pond). We orignially said that was fine if BM was willing to pay 1/2 of costs since it will be 2 flights instead of 1.
NOW what we are going to do is tell her we are booking the 4 week trip today unless there is a major conflict- she will object to the trip because of the internship. We will tell her that since she won't budge on the phone times/days we aren't budging on this-- unless she is willing to discuss the phone times again, of course. Our time in the summer trumps all other activities and sports- so we do have leverage with this.
Who is booking summer trips
Who is booking summer trips now in the midst of covid19? Unless BM is totally insane, she won't buy it.