I am so mad!!
Its possible I sound like a complete bitch, or a selfish cow but I DONT CARE! I am so sick fed up of always putting up with everything and smiling or as some would say "being a doormat". Here's the problem:
BM is in hospital (for something which is entirely her own fault) and my DH is being a good dad by taking the kids to see her 3 times a week, even though its an hour away, and talking to her, making sure she is ok, which is all well and good. She is starting to take the piss now, she texts him at 1am to tell him she cant sleep and we even got a phone call from her at 4am to say she was having an operation, he got up and went to the hospital for them to say "nah we're just watching her for a while, not sure if she needs one". This alone was enough to annoy me, but now what is really bugging me is that DH's mum, step-dad and sister are visiting this weekend (that isnt a problem). We only see them about 3/4 times a year as they live 400 miles away (and we get on really well). But now DH has told me his mum wants to visit BM in hospital, why? I have no f*cking idea. She hates BM, just two weeks ago she was bitching to me and DH down the phone about how much she hates the woman and now she wants to go and see her? Not only that but because of the distance away it is, they have decided to go to Toys R Us and buy my SK's Xmas gifts and then go out for dinner (not with BM). This excludes me for the whole day as I have work at 4pm, so when they all buggar off at 12, I'll be left to do the dishes, tidy up the house and piss off to work. To then come home and hear about what a great day they've had and poor BM. Oh! Also DH has told SD5 that she cant go to a birthday party on Sunday for an hour because her granny is here but this is fine? I'm soooooooooooooo mad!
I apologise now for the swearing and if some parts don't make sense, but I've been tossing and turning for over an hour not being able to sleep because of this and I am now literally shaking with rage.
Does anyone else think I'm being irrational or a bitch?
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Comments
Hmmm... I have mixed feelings
Hmmm... I have mixed feelings on this one. On one hand I think it's nice of your husband to take the kids to see their mom when she is in the hospital. Not nice for HER, but nice for the kids since they are too young to take themselves there obviously. I think 3 times a week is a little excessive however, but I admit I'd probably have problems with it myself.
I haven't exactly figured out why dh's parents care to get involved if they have low opinions of BM. That seems odd. But you can't control others, you can only control the way you react to them.
As far as the day out goes, that would hurt my feelings as well. I can see that the grandparents want to buy Christmas gifts or whatever, but to plan this whole outing without including you and have it include the BM? Yes, I'd be upset too.
And as for the b-day party, I probably would have done the same as your dh and had her stay home to be with the grandparents that she doesn't get to see too often. I believe it's definitely more important for a child to be around relatives than to go to a party with friends.
Overall, I can see why you are upset and can say that I would be too. I would definitely have to talk to dh about the situation and my feelings concerning the situation. But try not to approach it while you are angry. You said BM is in the hospital for something that is entirely her own fault so that could be something that would push me from being upset to being enraged, as well as knowing more history concerning the relationship between BM and dh may also influence my feelings. At this point, with just what I do know, I would be upset, but I wouldn't approach dh with it until I was calm.
I think you have every right
I think you have every right to feel that way. I think its nice that your DH takes the kids to visit her, but I think the 1am and 4am texting/calling is really inappropriate, I would be livid too. Have you talked to your husband about this?