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Little Warning Signs?

helena_brass's picture

Last night BM called BF at 9:30pm to let him know that the kids wouldn't be at her mother's this weekend because her mother would be attending a funeral. So BF could have the kids because it was still his weekend (he had given her permission to take them to her mother's house on his weekend). I heard the conversation because we were both right next to each other--in bed because it was Monday and we were both exhausted. When he hung up I told him that there was no reason for her to be calling that late for something that really could have waited until the next day. It really bothered me, but I figured 9:30 isn't late for everyone and it's not like she does this all the time.

Well, this morning as I was getting ready for work I heard BF's phone go off. Before I left I asked him why his phone was ringing so early (it was 7:00am). He said BM called to tell him that FSS has t-ball practice on Saturday morning. Okay, now I was seriously annoyed. BF thought it was funny/stupid. He joked that next she would call him to tell him the FSS was wearing one red sock. I didn't find that thought humorous, and I think that's because of what I've read on this site. I told BF that if she tries to do this any more (three is my lucky number) then he needs to say something to her, because it's disrespectful to call at odd hours to tell him things that are not urgent. He agreed, though I don't think he had the same hard pit in his stomach that I had. I really, really don't want this to be a trend. I hope she's not having issues with her boyfriend.

Am I worrying too much? In the year and some change that we've been together BM rarely calls (usually texts), and never at odd hours unless we have the kids and she's calling to say goodnight. Are those even odd hours? 9:30pm and 7:00am? I know she's up early to get the kids ready for school, and maybe she thought BF was already up getting ready for work? I dunno. It just doesn't sit well with me.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Our BM is like this... I don't think she looks at a clock when she calls/texts... she just gets a bug up her ass or a thought in her pea sized brain and she dials. She's called at midnite, 7 am, or basically whenever.. until DH told her to cut the shit and have some respect.

I personally don't think 9:30 is late but why the hell couldn't she have told him about practice the night before when she called? that would peeve me.

I'm with you... God forbid the day (and I'm sure it's coming) that BM's BF gets tired of her shit and calls it quits... because then DH will be her new best friend whenever she needs something.... GAAHHHHH

DisappointedMom's picture

I in the same boat with you! It seems that the BM has the power to make them jump at any time. BF has to make it stop now or it will only get worse.
BM now knows that no matter when she calls or what it's about she will get the attention that she wants. You have to let BF know that it bothers you with out being accusatory (something I struggle with myself.)

youngmama1b1g's picture

its pushing the threshold, but at least it was semi-revelant. SO had called at 9 to say goodnight to SS. BM called back @ 10 something, crying because she had just broken up with her BF. Then went on to talk for about an hour about how her life was in shabbles and when he made like he was about to get off the phone, she started going on about how he hit her when they were together-which of course he denied-inciting them to talk even longer.
I was in bed next to him pissed and sick to my stomach :sick: having to hear her voice.

DaizyDuke's picture

^^^^^^^^
this is bull crap... I would have packed my shit and gone to a hotel for the night. I used to ask DH this when he would entertain BM's personal ramblings... "Does she not have a sister, father, mother, brother, friend that she can call and talk to?? Why the fuck does she think YOU are her best friend?"

The thought of having to talk to my exH makes me want to vomit, I would avoid it at ALL costs even if we DID have kids together... sorry, but am I the weird one here????

Toni 2980's picture

Hi Helena! I speak from experiance here: If you feel uncomfortable with her calling during 'odd' hours then it is not ok. She is the one calling BF...if you guys think these are odd hours, then they are.
I went through the same thing when my DH and I were just dating. BM would call at all hours for the dumbest reasons (hangnails, stuffy noses, Jahovas Witnesses...you name it). Well, come to find out that BM and her boyfriend were having issues...hence all the wierd calling. My now DH put an end to the BS after I explained to him how it really made me feel uncomfortable and it was inapropriate.

I hope that helps....