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Need advice, BM saying she's going to call the cops if FDH doesn't bring Fss home early on Easter.

msg1986's picture

After the shit storm yesterday, BM called FMIL & told her if FDH doesn't bring Fss home early on Easter that she would call the cops on him(yep, FMIL is STILL talking with BM :? ). Being that FDH doesn't have a court ordered visitation (only child supp) can he get in trouble if we show up at BM's at 5 on Easter to drop off Fss and the cops are waiting there?

To sum up yesterday, after FDH told BM he wouldn't bring Fss home early on Easter b/c BM had Fss last year, BM called FMIL and told her SHE could pick Fss up for the weekend if FMIL brought Fss home early on Sun (in essence giving FDH's weekend to FMIL).. ya know so she could still get a rid of Fss for the weekend but also be able to parade Fss around on Sunday. Anyways, FMIL called FDH and TOLD him SHE would be picking up Fss afterall (mind you, this was after FMIL called in AM asking to pick up Fss and FDH already telling her no)but FDH shut her down and said no way because it's HIS son and FMIL wasn't going to take his weekend. FMIL still showed up at BMs right after FDH got there even though he had already told her no. So now we have the BM calling FMIL telling her that she's going to call the cops on FDH for taking Fss when she told FMIL only she could pick him up (read my blogs about my psycho FMIL if you're curious why she's even up in te mix). BMs little sister was the one at the house when FDH got there and she brought Fss outside for FDH.

So do you think the cops would even get involved in this and could BM really press any kind of charges? it's not like FDH showed up one day of out of the blue after years of not seeing Fss and slipped away with him like a theif in the night, he's had this kid every weekend since he and BM split up when Fss was like 3 or 4 months old. What do you guys think? FDH doesn't want to get in trouble but he also doesn't want to cower to BM by taking Fss home early and making her think she continue to manipulate... smh

Rags's picture

In my experience the police will not likely get involved. They tend to direct the caller to take it to family court. At worst, at least in our case, they will not act once the kid is returned. Even if it is notably late to the schedule.

The solution to your problem is for your DH to file for a visitation order. That takes the onus out of BMs hands and she will have no choice but to STFU when it is your DHs CO'd visitation time.

Take the power out of her hands. Get a visitation order.

IMHO of course.

fedup13's picture


UNLESS, the BM has connections, can pull strings, has a dirty cop friend in her pocket that will overstep his bounds for her and harass your DH, they don't get involved. It is a civil matter and they tell people to consult with an attorney and take it up in family court. If she does not have the ability to use the local Sheriff's Office as her own personal supplier of henchmen, she should not be able to do anything.

He most certainly needs to file for a visitation order asap.

msg1986's picture

Thank you for your words. I didn't think that they would get involved from what I've read here with other posters situations.

Yep, FDH pickd up the court paper work Friday and he'll be turning it in Monday to request a hearing date. Thank God because I'm so over this stress, it shouldn't be this stressful to have to pick up Fss on his days.

StickAFork's picture

WHY doesn't he have a court order?

If he has no legal parental rights, he *could* get into trouble. Not by the cops, necessarily, because they don't tend to get involved in civil issues.

Tell him to march his happy ass to the courthouse and file for visitation ON MONDAY.

msg1986's picture

SAF, believe me I've asked him this MANY times. Apparently when thy went to court to est child supp the judge said that being that they were getting along he/she gave them the parenting plan to fill out and these lazy asses never did. :jawdrop: so ultimately this IS FDH fault for being irresponsible.

When this shit all started I told him to get his ass to court Friday to get the paper work, so we're sitting down tomorrow to fill it out and he'll be there Monday morning to request his court date... FINALLY.

msg1986's picture

You have a great point there in regards to Fss, thank you. I'm not sure yet what FDH wants to do.

I've talked with FDH tonight because I was very stressed over this. FMIL called FDH probably like 10x today trying to argue with him... at one point she even told him that if doesn't let her see Fss on his scheduled time that SHE would take him to court for grandparent rights... crazy right? FMIL seriously needs to get a life IMO!! anyways, I talked to FDH and told him he needs to get his visitation in order and he needs to get his mother in check because I cannot put up with this for the rest of my life or until she dies. He promised it will change so we'll see. I'm just very disapointed at this point. I know in laws can be a pain but this is just leaves me appalled at how someone could behave in this manner.

Thank you for your suggestion as to what to ask for when he goes to court, I think I will do that right now.

StepDoormat's picture

Chances are, the police will not get involved. But, if you live in a small or low-crime community, they might because they have nothing better to do.

On the flip side, I would take the brat home to his bitch BM at 6am and have the day to myself.