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BM Thinks Her Mother Gets Visitation Over FDH

helena_brass's picture

Long story short: BM wants to ship off the kids to her mother's for the entire summer. BM's mother lives 3 hours away. Per the custody agreement, FDH is supposed to get the kids EOWE.

Yesterday BM texted DH that she just wanted to let him know that the kids would be at her mother's this summer taking swimming lessons.
DH texted back that's fine, as long as I get them on my weekends.
BM texted back, there's nothing stopping you from going up there and seeing them on your weekends.
Then it was arguments back and forth.

Really BM? Are you f-ing serious?

Comments

helena_brass's picture

They are supposed to meet at a public location of their choice within their county. FDH usually picks them up and drops them off at her house.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

My guess 3 hours away isn't in the same county. That is violation of the CO. If she isn't there to meet him on his weekends, call the police.

WickednNasty's picture

This is exactly how BM started the PA against DH. It's a violation to the CO. Your husband should make it known that it isn't acceptable to him. If she goes ahead with her plan, take her back to court.

Willow2010's picture

He needs to send BM a certified letter stating that he will be picking up the skids over the summer for his regular visitation. He will pick them up at her house every other weekend like normal. Then he needs to go to her house like normal and if the kids are goneā€¦he needs to file contempt on BM.

Purple hope's picture

WOW!!! Serious Bullshit!! If you have the money...I'd be checking with a lawyer ASAP!! Unless she is willing to meet you in your county every other weekend to drop them off with you. That is just Crazy!! She is just trying to prevent your DH from seeing them at all...do what you have to do to make sure he and his kids get his time. Good Luck

Totalybogus's picture

The police won't get involved. It's a civil matter. However, he can file a motion for contempt.

My guess is that she can't afford the child care for the summer and mom is providing free care.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

Other posters always say to call the police, that way you have a police report to go along with the contempt charges

If BM can't afford childcare, she should talk to their father. Maybe he would be willing to help out by taking the kids more often. Shipping them off for the summer without his permission is just WRONG.

Totalybogus's picture

I agree with you 100% that she should go to dad first. BUT, he has to decide if its worth the money to take her back to court. By the time the darn thing is heard, the summer will already be over.

helena_brass's picture

Well, the thing that annoys me is that she's a SAHM. She does some under the table in-home work (child care, hair and nails), but essentially she shouldn't need child care for most of the time. I understand that everyone needs a break, but the whole summer?

Also, she's never asked FDH to take them on days other than scheduled visitation. If he couldn't, I'm sure he'd be happy to go in on childcare. The reason she doesn't do this is because 1) she doesn't want to deal with him more than she needs to, and 2) she knows he wouldn't approve of the people she calls babysitters (teenage kids of irresponsible friends), and he would want to hire someone else.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

That is just stupid. She clearly doesn't want the kids to cramp her summer plans, so she is shipping them off to her mother. If she sent them to your FDH, then she would end up with less CS, because the number of overnights would change.

Anyone else here think CS is a real scam?

CrazieCoconut86's picture

I don't think any judge would be to happy about the amount of contempt charges that would be filed over a whole summer of every other weekend visitations. He needs to do what Willow said, send a certified letter, and show up to pick up the kids. They aren't there, call the police. I am sure the police will get rather irratated having to come out there all the time too.