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How yesterday/last night unfolded

justmakingthebest's picture

DH went to have lunch with SS at school. Since his phone had "not been working" and we talked him through different settings and couldn't figure it out, DH was told by BM to take a look at it when he got to SS state. DH asked for it. SS said he left it at home (NO WAY THAT WAS TRUE). After school, DH stayed to watch football and take him to dinner since BM finally replied. DH finally got his hands on his phone. Guess who has a new phone number and was pulled off our phone plan without our consent?

DH asked SS if he got a new phone or number. SS and BM both told him no on Thursday. DH has no idea how this can happen. As far as I am concerned it is stealing. We paid for the phone. We paid for the phone plan. We are still paying for the phone line. To top it off BM encouraged SS to lie to his father. 

So anyway, BM comes storming into Pizza Hut- the only resturant in town - and throws SS's old SIM card at DH and starts screaming at him and saying that I am the reason that they can't coparent. Riiiggghhhttt.... Before me he didn't have any visitation and BM had him totally locked down. He gave her $ whenever she asked and, honestly, I think once she got tired of living in podunk she had DH on the hook becasue she could have played the "our family needs to be together" card and she thought she could go right back. She has hated me since day one and I have been nothing but nice to her and her son. That is all over now. She went on and on... I can't even remember everything she said but she kept repeating that they have to Co-parent. 

So DH tells her- you realize that Co-parenting involves communication. So when my son lies to me and you lie to me about his phone number you aren't co-parenting. When you lie about doctors- you aren't co-parenting. When you refuse to respond to any of my texts or emails for months on end so that I have to call the police to have a wellness check done- you aren't coparenting! 

She said well, she is ready to do that now. Then she left. There were people from town in the resturant and I think she got embarressed.

DH sends her a stream of texts after he drops off SS asking for things like he to stop blocking him at school, stop blocking him with medical. Provide names of doctors, and on and on- everything we had been fighting since the begining. OF COURSE no response. 

So now... DH is trying to figure out how she was able to take a cell phone off of our plan and transfer it. He is considering filing a police report. (I told him that he needs to!) And that was probably the last he will see of SS until spring break, if she even sends him. The rest of this week should be interesting.  


justmakingthebest's picture

How can she take a phone off of one plan and move it to another though. She would have had to do something to the account. She would have to have proof of turning it over to the new company. 

barbKarin's picture

Then I would really call the service provider and ask them how this is possible. She might have gotten the phone unlocked using those sketchy shops you see in strip malls.

futurobrillante99's picture

See if you can get the carrier or manufacturer (Apple) to brick the phone (make it unusable) like they do when phones get stolen.


notarelative's picture

As I understand it, phones today are unlocked. (Meaning that can go from provider to provider.) She changed the SIM card. She changed the provider. Not sure this is police report stealing. BD gave the phone to SS and it is still in his possession. BM didn't destroy the SIM and gave it back to dad. Alienation yes. Police report stealing --  my opinion probably not.

There may be installment payments for the phone each month, but that does not bind the phone to the service provider. If Dad signed a contract he is probably legally liable for the payments even if the phone is not being used in the account. I'd check the contract and see what it would cost to terminate. You could try taking BM to small claims court for the cost of the termination. Dad would need to be there for the day in court, but you file yourself and no lawyer needed. 

futurobrillante99's picture

If OP and spouse are still paying for the phone, they should be able to prove they bought it as the serial number is likely associated with their plan, and make a case for its return - going to court if necessary.

justmakingthebest's picture

As it turns out- What BM did was against policy and she lied to get the phone off contract. DH was advised to report it stolen. This will turn the phone into a paper weight. He is thinking about it... *scratch_one-s_head*

He is off to have lunch with SS again. I don't know what to think anymore. He is afraid that if he does this BM will block all of us from his phone. I think she is going to do that anyway. I think this is all a lost battle. I don't think anything we do will make a difference. At least not until he is much older and probably has kids of his own.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Psycho's response to the court blamed me for her lack of communication skills too. Go figure. LMAO Must be a psychotic narcissist thing!

tog redux's picture

Ugh, you have a BM like ours. Totally does not want to let go of control and pretends to hate DH, while setting up ways to force him to engage with her.

I always thought my SS would figure her out when he got older - nope. He's 18, and if anything, he's even more under her thumb than when he was 14.


WalkOnBy's picture

I always hoped that your SS would eventually figure out who his mother is.   Over here, so far ASS and KarateKid have said they want nothing to do with Medusa, though she has only contacted ASS thus far. 

These women make me want to claw my eyes out sometimes.

ESMOD's picture

My YSD had broken her old phone.. and I went and we got her a new one.. it wasn't super expensive.. but it was one that was only a little bit of money to renew for 2 years.  Literally the next week BM puts the girl on her plan but buys her a little nicer phone because they gave her a bigger promotion since it was a "new line".  so there I was with a new phone on MY plan that we were going to have to pay for for 2 years.. nice BM.  YSD of course was dazzled by the nicer phone... but we knew it was a way for BM to control.  So, she didn't take the phone but she did cause us to have to run out a long contract.

Survivingstephell's picture

Get the phone back and offer a flip phone to SS.  Not doing anything just reffirms DH is a doormat.  How many more years until he ages out??  


justmakingthebest's picture

4 but really almost 5 due to his birthday. He will be 18 right after sr. year starts. 

I dont want to offer anything. I just want to throw up a big middle finger to both of them right now. 

classyNJ's picture

DBDB loved to turn on and off SS16 phone when she was mad at anything.  She did this from the time he was 13.  They have no land line and she would leave him home by himself at nights and he no way other than sending messages thru the computer should anything happen.

When he moved in with us she did it again and shut off his phone.  SS16 had purchased this phone with his own money saved up from birthdays and Christmas.  It was the same phone company, but we took the phone to store and they changed the number and I put it on my account.  It only took 15 minutes.