Disengagement and 'Co-Parenting'
So. I officially decided to disengage from the BM. It is not my battle to fight, and I honestly drive myself nuts to fight it. It's only been a week and already I feel great!
The last email FH and I sent to BM I attempted to 'co-parent' with her by offering up the things we could/might enroll SD7 in over summer as 'rewards' while she is still in school. This would offer a way for both the households to be connected and BM not to feel like the discipline parent. Well, she shot that idea down, as always. She said it was impossible, if not totally dumb. So I resigned on co-parenting.
Then yesterday she texted FH telling him to stop babying SD7 and to get on board with co-parenting. She says ' I need your help'. Oh my goodness. It made me laugh. This came out of the fact that SD7 keeps telling BM about how excited she is to see us this summer, and all the things she wants to do. FH ignored all of her questions, since they were nothing but prying, and at this point, completely hypothetical.
Why is it that BMs only want to co-parent when it is convenient for them? It is so ridiculous. Never does she ask FH anything about her punishments/rewards anything. She only wants to co-parent when it will allow her some control over him.
We are both tired of fighting with her. At this point, unless it directly involves the well being of Jordyn. Anything else she asks questions about is just prying and useless and because she somehow needs to be validated as the greater parent.
FH and I are great parents, and we are not disneyland parents. I guess the difference is, in our house it isn't about yelling or getting in heaps of trouble when you have been bad. It's about being praised when you do things right and learning to understand why things are wrong.
Someday I hope she chooses to live with us, and sees the terror that her BM is. Until then, FH and I will continue to live our lives, and raise a perfectly happy SD who has many people in her life.