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Feeling sorry for myself - OT

justmakingthebest's picture

Today is the first "out to sea" that DH has had in 3 1/2 years. It's not even a full month, it isn't a big deal... but I am just bummed. I hate when he isn't home. 

You know how people throw out the dreaded "you knew what you were getting into" with blended families? You get it being a military spouse too. You can't really complain, you just have to smile and give them a kiss and slip his favorite treat in his bag with a love note and say "See you soon". It just sucks.

It is just me and OSS19 for a few weeks, then my kids will FINALLY be home. It has been a long summer. Surgery didn't help speed it up. I still have discomfort and wear out way faster than normal. It's only been 3 weeks, I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason the doctor made it very clear that the recovery is 6 weeks. 

That is all, just feeling lonely and pathetic tonight...


StepperLife's picture

My youngest brother (there’s 6 of us in total and when I was 18 Instarted taking care of my YB, mom has/had serious problems) to me he’s like one of my own kids. He’s in Okinawa now as we speak, Marine Life. 

I too am having surgery coming up and my anxiety is kicking in. 

So sorry you’re going through this. 

CLove's picture

We appreciate you!!!

Hopefuly you will have speedy healing.

Take care!

Gimlet's picture

((hugs)) lady.

You are a strong and kind person.  Please make sure to give youself recovery time.  You haven't had an easy road lately.

Hang in there and take care.

Created's picture

I hear you..

My SO (ex, god knows whats happening with us now) is gone every other month for the whole month and its hard. Saying goodbye is hard.. and even when she is back, after a couple of weeks its just like another goodbye countdown.

I try to kind of nurture/spoil myself more during the away month. Ill watch movies I love (romantic comedies), gym a bit more, catch up with friends and see family more, and introvert more... it doesnt make it easy, but i find it helps me feel less lonely.


Also, who says you cant complain? :)  I dont buy that  'you knew what you were in for' - sure, but it doesnt mean you dont feel or that you shouldnt voice your feelings and expect some empathy. If someone is saying that to you, grrrr! 

Aunt Agatha's picture

A huge thank you to your husband for his service and an equally huge thank you you to you for supporting him.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.  Just know your sacrifice is very much appreciated too.  

I do hope as others suggested you can find a way to pamper yourself a bit.  You are a strong woman and a great advice giver, and that’s just what I know about you over the internet.  IRL, you are most likely 110% even more amazing.

justmakingthebest's picture

Thanks ladies. I am feeling better today. I think it was just the first night of "Oh crap, here we go again" after the shore duty break. You guys sure do know how to make a girl feel good! 

Air kiss

beebeel's picture

Dang you need a new circle of love because I never, ever got the "you knew what you were getting into" Bullshit when DH was still active duty.

justmakingthebest's picture

What I need is DH to get orders out of here! Lol

I am so over living in this area. I grew up here and moved away when I was 18. Came back 11 yrs later and have been ready to go again ever since. My family is here, which is great, but they are some of the biggest "you knew"-ers. Especially since my 1st marriage was also military. 

I miss my mil-spouse friends. Being in my hometown and about 30mins from base, DH and I dont have friends that we hang out with that are military. It was easier being in new areas where you depended on your community and they were awesome. I think its different this time too since I work full time and am not the SAHM that volunteers for everything under the sun and is the ombudsman and in the spouse groups and mommy groups (God, all that was exhausting!). 

I probably just need friends in general! Lol I have family and coworkers and kids! I need to be better at self care.