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Marriage Poll

zerostepdrama's picture

How long have you been married?

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest?

What do you fight about?

What makes your marriage good?

Do you regret getting married?

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

How long have you been married?

16 months

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest?

The first few months. I think a lot of it was just thinking to myself "wow this is forever, ever, ever." I am very idependent and it was kind of a shock to me. Even though I knew what marriage was. Plus the situation with the skids bothered me more right after we got married.

What do you fight about?

Mostly the skids. That would be the majority. Some with my BS. DH and I have different ideas on parenting, so we butt heads. We are also complete opposites so there are the occasional fight about something that we are butting heads on. Fighting is rare for us though Smile

What makes your marriage good?

Communication. Which we are still working on. DH and I are both committed to this marriage. He is very loyal. He wants to make me happy. I still get butterflys when I think about him. We have a good sex life.

Do you regret getting married?

No

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?

Lots of camping and traveling. We hope to have our own camper.

B22S22's picture

How long have you been married? ------ 9 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? -------- probably the first 5 YEARS

What do you fight about? ------ Skids of course. DH's disney ways with his kids ONLY, and how the skids played on that to the Nth degree. And we fought about BM, how when she said jump DH would ask how high, because it was always framed as "for the skids" when at this house he would watch me run ragged doing everything alone (because he was too busy catering to BM and SK's).

What makes your marriage good? ------ The fact that the Skids are older, BM is pretty much out of the picture. And, DH has changed in some amazing ways, thanks to me drawing a line in the sand and (yes I did) FORCING him to make a choice between me and BM. He realized that he was losing the best thing that ever happened to him (his words) and throwing it away to try pleasing someone who never loved him and basically used him at every turn.

Do you regret getting married? ------ Sometimes honestly yes. Stepparenting is HARD. I was way better off being widowed and raising my children alone. In the early years of this marriage, I pretty much WAS alone in doing that, but had the added bonus (NOT) of having to endure rude skids and a biznotch of a BM.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? ------ Building our dream home, having the freedom to travel, and getting those "alone years" finally.

QueenBeau's picture

How long have you been married?
almost 3 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest?
I would say it's a tie between the first year & this past year (while I was pregnant & when my DS was born)

What do you fight about?
the 1st year - BM and her drama. We finally got rid of her by simply blocking her from my phone & DH only communicating through emails. After DS was born we fought about my DH being an idiot because he felt guilty & felt sorry for SD.

What makes your marriage good?
We are great friends. We like similar movies/music etc. We can finish each others sentences a lot of the time. We have a similar sense of humor so sometimes we laugh at things other people would think are dumb. We just 'click'. Always have.

Do you regret getting married?
If u asked me this a year ago, I'd say if I could go back in time & never meet DH therefore never knowing how much I loved or missed him, I would. Just to not deal with the BM drama & bullcrap. But now that I have DS, I wouldn't trade him for the world, & I wouldn't have him without DH. So yeah.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?
Haha, well DS is still an infant & we plan on having a couple more. So I haven't really thought that far ahead. I'd imagine we would want to travel & vacation & enjoy life until we have some grandkids, then we would spoil them rotten.

HappyCow's picture

How long have you been married? 13 Years this June. We knew each other for 6 months before getting married. I would kill DD if she did this.

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? Around year 4 or 5. We struggled with just learning to communicate with each other.

What do you fight about?
Like most people SD but throw in money and the electric bill.

What makes your marriage good?
Putting our relationship first. If we are not a strong united front we will crumble in front of the kids or outside stresses

Do you regret getting married?
I do wish I would have waited a little longer, however, we made it this far somethimes by shear stubborness.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?
Walk around naked? We try really hard to make time for ourselves now and make sure we are friends and have other interests besides the kids so when they leave we won't wake up one morning and look at the stranger sleeping next to us.

Sports Fan's picture

Married 18 months.

The hardest part has been everything after the first couple of months.

We only fight about BM and skids.

I think we truly love each other. When BM and skids issues aren't front and center, we really connect.

I regret getting married some of the time but mostly due to some of the financial parts.

At this point, we don't have any future plans since neither of us is feeling very good about the future. We don't know if we are going to make it past the most recent issues.

Gabriels Mom's picture

How long have you been married? 6 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? 4th year was the hardest because DH had an emotional affair.

What do you fight about? Money. DH has a terrible spending problem that I now have under control YAY ME!

What makes your marriage good? We have a lot of fun together.

Do you regret getting married? Nope.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? We are going to build a home on our property in Montana and try to live off the grid. I personally do not see this happening as I really can't live without internet access. LOL

StepKat's picture

How long have you been married? --- 6 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? --- Second year which was our first year back from Iraq

What do you fight about? --- The troll and the skids (naturally lol)

What makes your marriage good? --- We suit each other and truly love each other (despite any fights or disagreements). We support each other and help each other grow. Also, we hate being away from each other.

Do you regret getting married? --- Nope

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? --- We plan to buy a house one day, travel the states and maybe to other countries. If he deploys again I do plan to volunteer to go with him, just like last time.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

We've been married 3 years.

Before marriage was the hardest part.

We don't "fight". Both of us LOATHE fighting. We discuss. Most of our discussions are about the skids and BioHo crossing the line.

What makes our marriage good is that we are so compatible in every single way, pretty much see eye-to-eye, enjoy many of the same things, and have an incredible sex life.

Do you regret getting married? NO WAY. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? No plans as of yet. Even tho PigPen is not DH's bio, he will still stick around until the emotionally immature little shi'thead is 18. Dangit.

misSTEP's picture

How long have you been married? going on 14 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? years 8-9. I moved out. He moved heaven and earth to get me back and things are better than ever.

What do you fight about? Me being on my smartphone too much. Him being disorganized and messy.

What makes your marriage good? We are best friends and want to spend all the time we can with each other. We can have deep intellectual conversations. We have gotten better at "agreeing to disagree." We make each other laugh as much as possible. Skids and DS are aged out and BM is a non-issue anymore.

Do you regret getting married? Sometimes when my OCD tendencies kick in and I can't believe how disorganized my formally (anally) organized household has become.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? The kids ARE out of the house. We own a house in another town that we are selling. We own a mobile home that we live in right now. We own our 3 cars. We currently are paying all our credit card bills off. We are planning on buying a house with some land so we can eat more of our own food. We will sell the trailer once we get a place. We are planning to buy an RV and travel the country when we are retired.

DaizyDuke's picture

How long have you been married?
Almost 5 years- been together 7

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest?
The past 2 years (basically the millisecond that SD16 moved in with us 2 years ago- until she moved out a month ago)

What do you fight about?
Every once in a great while we'll butt heads about something we disagree on in regards to BS5 but the knock down drag outs have ALWAYS been about skids and BMs

What makes your marriage good?
DH and I are both sarcastic and tend to be on the silly side, so we are able to laugh a lot. Laughing is good Biggrin

Do you regret getting married?
No. I'm actually glad we got married, because I think if we were just "dating" the past 2 years, we would have split up. We are both pretty serious about our vows and I think that (and BS5) have been the glue that held us together through the SD16 crap.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?
We really want to move South and will probably become hermits. lol

Mercury's picture

How long have you been married? 2 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? The first year. That's when BM caused the most drama. She CONSTANTLY texted, called, harassed my husband. She made things harder for the kids in the process. Now that she has been banned from phone contact and she has had a little bit of time to get used to the fact that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, things have mellowed out a bit.

What do you fight about? BM and skids. Always. Now that DH doesn't tell me about BM emails we don't fight at all.

What makes your marriage good? We are best friends who have sex daily.

Do you regret getting married? Hmmm. Hard question. I don't value the institution of marriage. I value my relationship with my DH, the state should have nothing to do with it. I even wanted to boycott marriage until marriage equality is the law of the land in the US. Even then, my view was always: Everyone should have equal opportunity to completely screw up their lives by legally binding themselves to someone who may or may not turn out to be a complete psycho bitch when the love fades. I don't regret getting married though. We went into it knowing it was a legal contract that was completely independent of our actual relationship. We have gained a few advantages from going into that contract so it was worth it.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? The day the youngest skid ages out and DH is free from all obligations to his ex, we are going on a traveling spree. I will have my house paid off at the exact same time that he will be freed from CS, we are going to have a lot more disposable income. We will celebrate in a very big way.

ChiefGrownup's picture

How long have you been married?---2 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest?---1st year, 1st 3 months. Hands down.

What do you fight about?---Sd and bm, what else? we rarely actually "fight" though. But we discuss endlessssssssly.

What makes your marriage good?---My husband is simply the best man in the world. Getting to be around him, feeling his love, and it ain't bad having nice inlaws who love me, too.

Do you regret getting married?---No sireeeee.

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"?---Wait. Kids will be out of the house one day?

MidwestStepmom's picture

How long have you been married? 5 years, but been together 9 years

What time (first year, 7 year itch, etc) in your marriage has been the hardest? This past year, adding a new baby.

What do you fight about? Ss13 and BM

What makes your marriage good? Other then ss13 and BM, we get along great and are best friends

Do you regret getting married? No

What are your plans as a married couple, when all of the kids are "out of the house"? When ss13 ages out of child support we plan to sell our house and move south. I will take a lesser paying and lesser stress of a job so I can raise BS10months