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I think the guilt parenting might finally end

Jcksjj's picture

Since DH has agreed to end the guilt parenting and stop centering our lives around SD a couple weeks ago hes actually been following through and doing a pretty good job with it. Ironically, now that hes stopped all the evidence keeps getting thrown in his face that theres no reason to be feeling sorry for her and spoiling her.

Theres more details in other blogs, but in short - MIL insists shes such a deprived child and that's why she acts the way she does. Spent 3x as much on her on her birthday last month as any other grandkid and expected that the bday party she insists on throwing her every year (that doesnt happen for any other grandkid) not be impeded on in anyway by us having a new baby a few days before. 

So today my mom gave SD her bday card with cash in it to go shopping. Instead of saying thank you she starts talking about how she has two houses so she gets soo many presents and bragging about the present BM got her. Did she even mention the presents DH rushed out to get her that were exactly what she said she wanted and much nicer than what BM got? Nope. Did she mention the expensive gift MIL got her? Nope. A few takeaways:

1. What BM does will always be better than anything from any of us 

2. The kid acts like a spoiled brat because she IS spoiled and gets so much stuff that it's all meaningless to her

3. Shes well aware that she gets twice as much stuff as the other kids and doesnt see herself as deprived either like he and MIL kept insisting she does


shamds's picture

should not be born in the days before or of sd birthday party so all the attention would be on her?? I assumeshe gave birth before right and that babies come out when they want to. 

If that were me i’d sarcastically look at my belly and point to it and say in the most condeand sarcastic tone “look bubs, your grandma says you can’t decide to come out in the days before or of your half sisters birthday because she said so”, take a few moments like you are really having a conversation with bubs and listening to him/her and look at mil and say, bubs just told me everyone can get stuffed because he/she will come out whenever they bloody want to...

justmakingthebest's picture



You can still have similar conversations with a new born! Lol

Jcksjj's picture

She didnt flat out demand it but she went nuts trying to make sure that SDs bday took precedent and made it clear she was unhappy that my due date was the same week as SDs bday - as if we did that on purpose. She kept calling DH the day we got home from the hospital too and he would try to hide from me because every time was about some stupid detail related to her party and never even asked how we were or the new baby was.

Created's picture

My partner is a huge guilty parenter and completely doesn't see it.

How did you broach the subject with your SO? Was there a lot of denial and anger on their part at first?