If any of you have been following my blogs you'll know that moving my BD out of SD's room into the den was a huge fight. Then there was the bedroom make over that I wanted to for her for her bday. (She has spent the last year with her stuff smashed into the office with a huge computer desk. It's basically an office with a bed in it.) DH of course needs to fight this tooth and nail even though I did the same thing for his BD last year for her Bday because she was so upset (whatever) that my BD moved out of her room (try being a freaking nice human being).

So for the last two months everytime this subject is brought up DH gets upset and says that it's not fair that I'm doing the bedroom make over and that my BD is going to get more stuff then his did for her bday last year and how upset SD going to be. I mean everytime I brought up anything that I wanted to do it always came back to his BD. He's even gone as far as to tell me that her room looks like shit after I invested hours in painting.

So last night I made some CDs for my BD since I got her a new CD player and she has no CDs when DH makes a comment about how I never put that much thought into his BD's room. Let's just say that I was sick of it as this point. So I approached him a little bit after that and asked him if it was so important why didn't he do it for her. Of course at that point it's defense mode and he told me that he didn't have time to do stuff like that. I then pointed out all of the times that he has sat around playing his online poker game or doing his fantasy football thing when he could have made his kid a couple of CDs. What I really wanted to say to him was I AM NOT HER FREAKING PARENT. WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT. I DID EVERYTHING ELSE FOR HER. This of course doesn't sit well with him.

So to paraphrase everything that went down:

After I explained to him that I came home everyday after work at 6pm and taped and painted his BD's walls until 10pm, he told me that I really didn't do that much work and I hardly put any effort into it.

When I told him that not only did I order everything, and I mean I bought every gift from us, painted her room, ran around and bought all of the supplies, and wrapped her presents and that if he wanted her to have CDs he should have made them for her I was basically told again that I really didn't do much for her and that I was doing more for my BD.

When he told me that he was going to spend how ever much on his kids instead of having a limit I told him that I would be seperating our finances then. I was accused of only making $700 a month, that I had no clue how much stuff costs, that the money that I make goes to cover my half of everything, and if I was going to do that he would have a postnup written up and if I didn't sign it he would divorce me.

He put his middle finger in my face and said eff you.

He told me he wanted a seperation last night.

I am sick of this crap. Since when did his BD have anything to do with my BD's bday? Why is my job to make CDs for his BD. I did everything else for her bday. I am not this kids mom and quite frankly after the way she has treated me and my BD since DH and I have been together I really don't like her. She didn't earn the room that I made her or all of the hard work that I put into it. She gets two of everything. Two bdays two Christmases. She has two parents. But poor wittle SD. She has it so rough. She is deprived of everything. And here I am being the big bad Smom. Why am I not catering to her and making sure that she is a spoiled little brat. News flash DH, just because she is a child of divorce doesn't mean you get a wild card to spoil the shit out of her. My BD doesn't have the behavior issues that his has and her father has basically abandoned her. DIVORCE IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR SHITTY BEHAVIOR OR FOR NOT PARENTING AND BEING A DISNEY DAD.

You know one of the things that gets me is througout all of DH's complaining and bitching about poor little SD's horrible room he never once mentioned or cared about the fact that my BD was stuck in the office with a giant computer desk and all of her shit crammed together. I mean if you want to talk about a shity bedroom then that's the one that he should have been focused on. Nope it's poor wittle SD's room. The one where I painted two accent walls, got her princess canopy for her bed, she has a dresser, TV and DVD player, a night stand with her own stero, a set of LED light up flowers that I let her pick, and her toy box. She sounds pretty deprived huh?

I am tiered of the BS of making sacrafices. When I brought up the fact that I have to give up another Christmas this year because we need to get my kid on the same holiday schedule as his kids so that we can go and visit his family for the holidays he didn't even care. But heaven forbid that I ask that of him. He would attack me, fight with me, accuse me of hating his kids, call me names. I mean how absured would it be to ask someone to do that type of thing. To make that kind of sacrafice.

So instead of waiting until Wednesday, which is my BD's actual Bday, to show her the room I showed it to her last night. I figured it was the right thing to do since DH was saying that he was kicking us out. I thought at least she would give a little bit of time to sleep in her new room. The plus side of this is I won't have to hear SD whine and cry about how unfair everything is and how her room looks like crap because I'll still be at work. Teh down side is that it's not her bday and I was really hoping to skype with DH's mother so she could see how excited my BD was about it and now she'll only have three presents to open on her actual bday. I told DH that after putting up with his shit for the last couple of months with his whining and bitching about this that if I hear a word from SD I would freaking lose it.

Of course today DH has been all apologetic and doesn't know why he acted that way. I could use a little bit of support here. I am fed the eff up with this crap.