I hate her
I hate the person I turn into more specifically when my SD is around. She makes me angry and resentful and mean. I feel like a fucking evil step mom when she’s around. All she does though is cry and throw fits about everything. I make her breakfast and it’s not what she wants boom throwing a fit and screaming about it. I ask her to go play boom throwing herself on the floor. I tell her to stop being mean to her sister boom an attitude like you wouldn’t believe. Get onto her for her constant complaining about everything boom she’s crying that she wants her dad. I can’t stand being around her at all. She makes me hate myself more than I already do. Our living situation right now is not ideal but we don’t have much of a choice right now since our house got flooded. I know she wants to see her dad and I know how much it sucks not being at home. I understand completely why she feels this way. What I cannot keep doing is dealing with a child who just constantly cries and screams and is rude the second she doesn’t get exactly what she wants. I’m going crazy. Not only am I staying in a my sisters house with 5 other people but I’ve got 2 kids making it 8 people living under the same roof a landlord trying to push me out of my flooded apartment not even a week after it happened and a boyfriend who doesn’t come home so he can work. I don’t know how long I can keep this up but my SD needs to chill out and stop causing so many problems through out the day because I’m already bent past my breaking point. She’s making this already stressful situation so much worse and I can’t even say anything to my BF because all I do is “complain about her”. I’m sorry his “perfect” little princess isn’t as fucking perfect when she has to follow rules and doesn’t get everything she wants. He’ll never see her as more than a baby who needs to be constantly coddled and given into. She’s 4 not a baby she doesn’t need someone to do everything for her. She doesn’t need to constantly be the center of attention. I hate that I get made into the bad guy everyday because my BF spoils her to the point that if she isn’t getting her way she has meltdowns. I hate that I can’t talk to him about it because I should just be giving her what she wants. I hate seeing the way him and his family are raising her. I hate that I’m supposed to be her “mom” but my opinions are just me being mean because I was the one raised wrong not the way he’s raising her. I hate that he wants to be best friends with her instead of her parent. I hate that I can see past her cute little smile and see the little tyrant that she is. What I hate the most though is myself for not being able to enjoy having my SD in my life.