He is barely talking to me today. Because I am not fully onboard with a major renovation project that I HAD been asking for for years. He put up a huge fight and dug in his heels years ago. He made the decision that we would not to do it without me. Suddenly he’s ready to do it, has it all planned out, and I have no say in how it gets done. I mean he told me and surprised me with the plan but I don’t want it any more and I had a suggestion, a thing I would want if it was done, but that got shot down. He’s pissed. But I’ve accommodated things differently and it’s just not necessary  

I get why he’s frustrated. I’ve been frustrated about the same topic for longer. 

I’m being accused of not being on board because it won’t benefit BS anymore since he’s going off to school. Well, it was supposed to benefit ALL the kids but two are gonna go off to school and the other one is also a teen and doesn’t need it. It was gonna be space for a family room type deal. Would have been dead useful for them to use for the last seven years. Now it’s just gonna be more space for DH to dump stuff and for me to be frustrated because I cannot use it since it’s messy. 

I’m looking at the house now as something to get fixed up enough to sell since the kids are aging out and we could downsize and finally have a place that is ours and not his house (that he bought with BM). 

The biggest thing I have done to the house without discussing it with him is buy us a bedspread. Sure I could be happy he’s finally doing what I asked but he didn’t ask me if I still wanted it and I seem to have no say in how it gets done if it does happen.