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Advice on ways to help fund college without giving $$ directly

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So now that the kids are back in school there will start being the need/desire to help them with some funds. Yes there are college funds. But there are things those funds are not allowed to cover, plus we said we'd help. And yet DH has said he would prefer not to give OSS directly given what he knows about OSSs recent habits (and I also prefer not to but am thankful DH said it first).

What are some ways we could help fund some of the extras for OSS without it being cash or used as barter for weed?

We have facial hair and are the same height

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In an attempt to slow-walk DH into a way to connect with OSS I casually asked in a conversation what were some things DH thought he and OSS had in common. Facial hair and height were all he could come up with, even after I waited and finally asked if he had anything more. (We were not talking about physical traits so it wasn't just part of an existing topic.)

It took pulling to get anything else and asking if there wer hobbies and interests. And there ain't much. I just don't think DH knows how to create a relationship or make the effort to create it.


How do you tell if someone is repressing memories?

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I swear DH has some sort of childhood issue(s) that he isn't willing to examine. I don't pry but while chatting about things we get into areas about childhood and anything below about junior year in high school gets really vague. And he gets weirdly flat and quiet though I don't think he sees it.

If I recommend therapy, not even for a childhood thing for him, but just as a "sometimes when you run out of ideas on how to handle things" alternative, he gets really defensive and shuts down.

It’s just one crappy soap opera episode after another

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In today's episode DS calls his mom (me) to say that OSS is super pissed right now. OSS told DS that DH thinks he's a drug dealer. 

Hm. I wonder where he would have heard that since he hasn't talked to DH in weeks and even then it was only a few nothing sentences. 

Im pretty sure that after DH screwed up and told YSS that NMB (BM) was tracking him, she turned around and told OSS what DH had told her about overhearing OSS negotiating a possible sale of some of his stash and other bits of info about OSS being the resident expert when it comes to pot. 

Giggle for the evening

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DH gets a call from BM. YSS is on his way over and could DH please talk to him to find out what's up and see if he can determine why YSS was stopped at a certain place on his way here. DH didn't know YSS was on his way here tonight (thought he was coming tomorrow and, as a side note, hadn't told me any thing about YSS coming at all). 

I don’t think he sees the irony

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The memory test Trump took was part of a new story we were watching. DH was scoffing at Trump saying it's hard. I reminded DH that he took that same test a few years ago. 

His response: I don't remember that. 

I don't think he sees the irony that he doesn't remember taking a memory test.

I remember because I asked for it and the doctor called me right afterward to tell me that DH was right on the edge of passing or failing it; DH only partially answered a question and if the doc gave it to him he passed and if the doc decided it didn't count then he failed. 

DH told BM he knows about the car

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So in our last episode NMB (I think I finally have a nickname for BM - Not My Babies) found a stash of YSSs pot (and has not fessed up if she found OSSs) and we found out she took YSS to buy a second car six months ago. She's been dropping him off or he's driven OSSs car here the whole time so we didn't know. 

NMB picked up YSS yesterday from our house and took him to lunch. Dropped him back off and then picked him up later. DH asked YSS if NMB and he talked about the pot at lunch. No. So folks she didn't address it and the kid couldn't just eat food here. SMH