Tonight we (adults and kids) talked about visiting relatives. I didn’t realize it until now but DH has never taken the skids to visit one of his sisters who lives a good plane ride away. His sister has been in that location for over a decade. (And hasn’t take them to visit the others either.)
When we were first married DH, privately to me, bad-mouthed BM not taking the skids to visit her mother and her mother had been living in that location for a decade.
People post about how the skids regress after spending time with a parent or relatives. What about your SO when s/he goes to their parents house?
My DH visited his parents and family recently (without me due to scheduling issues). He has been acting strange since he got back. Not like he has a secret or learned something disturbing but more like he’s an 8yo boy. He’s being goofy and not in a charming way, and not following through with what he says he will do but giving some completely lame excuse as to how he’s really doing it (yet not) or why he couldn’t.
OSS showed up this week for the first time in weeks. And things are almost back to day one. This is a warning to those who have awesome (TM) significant others who “are trying” (TM) and “just need a little help” (TM) and are sure it will influence the BMs house, too. I’ve been married to DH for over seven years. Don’t bother.
OSS are very little at dinner even though DH cooked a very “safe” one. OSS went out to get fast food about an hour later. Eating habits back to original.
I get to be ALONE on a weekend! It's been about seven months since I had a weekend alone. I am so looking forward to it.
I won't be home the whole time but I am going to clean and get everything straightened up tonight so I will have almost two whole days without messes cropping up. DS may stop by but it's highly unlikely the skids would show up since DH is also gone. I can just exist.
...DH went with YSS to do an outdoor activity with the equipment this weekend and he never mentioned once going with me all weekend. (To catch up people who didn't see my last post on this, I came home to DH getting some outdoor equipment ready and asked if it was for he and YSS to do something this weekend and he said no, it was for he and I to do it.) I had three things scheduled for the weekend. None of which prevented me from doing the outdoor activity.
DH used to be horrible about telling me anything going on with him, the skids, anything. There were times when neighbors would make small talk about something DH had told them that "we" (DH and I) were doing but their question about "our" plan was the first I had heard about it. Yes, including that I was watching the skids or had to drive someone somewhere or that we'd modify a trip to accommodate the skids/BM.
I'm a few therapy sessions in now and after some recommendations for inner reflection on my motivations and feelings, we are moving on to how to deal with the reason I sought out therapy in the first place.
I say it that way because it’s been a month since graduation and OSS18 has been here three times. This was a weekend all the kids are to be here and DS18 has been here the whole time and YSS16.5 has been here for half (something about stuff with friends and staying at BMs). OSS18 has been MIA except that he apparently stopped in briefly to grab something while DH and I were out.
This past weekend I went with a family member to visit another family member I rarely see and is only related to me through marriage (not my marriage).
Since I told DH that we would parent our own kids, with no negotiation anymore, it means I make sure to say nothing about the skids in relation to any parenting. I do respond in conversations minimally (I broke a bit the other day with the gym membership) but I make sure to say nothing otherwise unless it affects me in a way I cannot work around.