Update-Elder Care and Family Problems
So yesterday I called my aunt and talked to her to see if I was missing something about this fiasco. This is what I heard. The aunt that has a health problem that she is keeping under wraps is telling everyone that this will probably be the "last holiday" we will all have together as a family. My grandfather was just diagnosed with dementia and has been falling down a lot and forgetting where he is, pretty sure aunt has a brain tumor and is hiding her prognosis with family, so this aunt is panicking and doomsdaying turning this holiday into a massive cluster-FK to force everyone to make the 4 hour round-trip drive for Thanksgiving. Our family lives a lot closer to my grandma's house where we normally hosted the holiday. Rich aunt with dog wasn't going to make the trip until other aunt called about the "doomsday prophecy". She just called me yesterday night and said that now they are taking two cars and will be bringing mom and brother up, dog and her husband will go separate car, and my other cousin's husband will drive the grandparents up with them.
I thought everything was good.
Just read an email from my grandma sent around midnight stating that cousin's husband has to work the Friday after Thanksgiving and can not take them. (once again, family assumes another family member can do something without being asked).
Last night also we got a call from DH mom stating that her liver is acting up again and her lymph-nodes are swollen and she is now going to the hospital today to get a biopsy.
So now what's happening is rich aunt is driving her daughter up since daughters husband isn't going (she has a mental disability, no license)and is also bringing the grandparents.
Aunt's husband is driving separate with the stupid dog.
We are now back at square one except now my grandma is BEGGING me to come to her house for thanksgiving for my mom and brother. She even went as far as saying I could invite my father (moms ex husband) over too. Funny thing is even though I've been telling EVERYONE we want a holiday with DH family, the email did NOT extend that invite to DH mom. It's like they are SO focused on their "perfect holiday" they aren't even listening to what I've been telling them.
I'm ready to just scream.
And what's even WORSE is nobody even asked if we have ss this holiday. If we had SS, the 4 hour trip wouldn't even be a possibility because we only have ss 8hrs e/o Thanksgiving. Obviously we aren't going to spend half the visitation day driving, so we wouldn't be going ANYWAY.
Oh lord this is getting nuts. My brother literally JUST texted me and said grandma is now begging my father to drive to her house and watch them. My parent's have been divorced for 10 years.
Here we go again.
One other thing I want to add is if they are all thinking this is going to be the "last family Thanksgiving" why would they go out of their way to not include my mom and brother in the car-pooling? That is just straight up mean and rude.
I'm ready to send out a mass email stating "Due to not getting advanced notice for your plans for OUR Thanksgiving, DH and I are NOT going to this family's Christmas and will NOT be driving anyone ANYWHERE."