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(OT-Take ibuprofen) & BM now accusing us of abuse

iamlosingit's picture

DH did come to the appointment.  SIL jumped on to take over pick up for SS so DH could go straight from work. We were in the room for maybe 15 minutes with the actual doctor.  She did another pelvic exam, felt the same as before and sadly I WAS feeling better until she did the exam. Now it's back again.

She said it wasn't a hernia but the other doctor had to get it checked to rule it out as a potential.

Other than blood pressure check (which came back with poor results, I guess my blood pressure is through the roof) No other tests were done.  No ultrasound, no scan, nothing.  Just the same test the gyno did only difference was placement of hands and "cough, deep breath, cough....nope you're good."

DH couldn't believe it.  He asked if there were any other tests she could do and she said "I'm in charge of hernia's, this isn't a hernia, you are going to have to see another Dr....maybe start taking a few ibuprofen every couple of hours", smiled, offered us a pamphlet on hernia's (declined) and just walked out. 

We sat there for a bit thinking she was coming back....a nurse popped her head in and said "oh you guys are done, lobby is to the right".

I'm done.  Guessing this bill will be about $300 that's at least $600 more dollars for no results.

......... ... ..........


Oh, and the "therapy" thing for SS? I guess SS had a questionnaire he had to fill out himself before the "pre-teen" doctor appointment.  One of the questions was "has anyone hurt you?" and "have you hurt anyone?"  SS took the questions in a literal sense and answered "Yes" to both.  He told DH the "has anyone hurt you" was when a kid elbowed him in the face by accident and broke his glasses (I know I mentioned that in a blog somewhere, BM was demanding DH leave work) and when he was hit in the face by a soccer ball in gym. 

The "have you hurt anyone?" question he accidentally pinched a classmates hand in a door.   SS said after he filled out the paper the doctor went out of the room to talk to BM.  The questions were "yes or no" with no lines to elaborate.  SS isn't dumb, I'm sure he would've written an explanation if given the chance.

SS said he tried to tell BM when she asked him about it (Who's hurting you?! tell me!") but she wouldn't listen....and now BM is convinced that DH and I are "abusing" SS and he is "too scared" to talk about it...hence the therapy. This explains the "YOUR FAULT!" accusation thrown at DH during drop off on Sunday.  SS says he doesn't want to go to "another doctor"...and given all the appointments he's been to over the last few months I don't blame him.

What a freaking mess.  I am guessing DH will have to "assist" in paying for the "therapy" because if he denies it BM will say he's trying to hide something.  No idea how this is going to play out.


lieutenant_dad's picture

"BM, if you think SS is in danger, then I encourage you to take all legal actions you deem necessary. However, as SS has relayed to me his thoughts on this, I won't support sending him to therapy."

I'd have DH put in writing what SS told him and that he does not consent to therapy - or, at least won't consent UNLESS all three of them go to an intake session and a therapist recommends it for SS. No intake session with DH involved, no consent on DH's part. If BM really thinks SS is being abused, she has an obligation to contact CPS. The courts will not be pleased if she doesn't go to CPS and uses a false abuse claim to continue her MbP mentality.

beebeel's picture

My SIL had a similar experience with doctors giving her the run-around while she experienced what she said was extreme pain caused by ovarian cysts. They didn't find them for the longest time and when they finally did, she wanted the ovaries removed as they have bwen completely covered in cysts. Well, they refused to remove both of them (because being able to spit out more babies is more important than anything else) so it was another fight for months for them to finish the job.

I'm guessing like her, you don't have a primary doctor that you see for gyno visits or regular checkups? It makes such a difference. She has always bounced from ER doc to whomever is available at the clinic. I've had the same doctor for five years now and if I sneeze too much during a visit, he wants to check my allergy meds. He knows my hoo-haw better than my DH and his bedside manners are fantastic. He knows me, my husband and our son. 

You said you really liked one of the doctors who has examined you recently. Can you make another appointment with him? (Introduce him to the bottle of lube this time!) It is no secret that women have to complain 10 times louder and three times as long as men to receive any adequate medical acknowledgement that their physical pain is real. 

It must have been so frustrating and defeating to leave that room with no answers or relief. 

iamlosingit's picture

That might be my next step...I do have a gynecologist that I like (even though he needs some...ahem.."tips") but he is strictly gyno not a general practitioner.  Going to start looking into it.

ITB2012's picture

Did you start any new meds recently or even a year ago? I'm asking since it's possible your stomach pain could be part of an allergic reaction.

Recently we thought my grandmother was having more strokes but the symptoms where the result of an allergic reaction to the new med she was put on and it took a week and a half for her body to get to the point it showed up. She was taken off and is doing much better now.

I have a friend who is now on dialysis for his GI system because of a bad GI reaction to an antibiotic.

Has anyone mentioned diverticulitis? It could by why you are/were feeling a bit better, perhaps you changed your diet enough.

And, if you have a IUD perhaps you are having a reaction to that, or it's moving? Mine moved and was actually poking me.


Just throwing those out in case that triggers something to help you find a solution. I'm sorry you are still feeling so ill and aren't getting the help you need.

iamlosingit's picture

thank you for the ideas, but sadly no new anything.  I only take two generic allergy meds (been on them for years, no issues) and the depo provera shot for 7 years.  The shot alone has pages long of side-effects but its the only thing I can be on that works, also the issues I've been having now had not started until a few years ago so they are ruling that out as the issue.  Doctors will not do any type of IUD because I haven't had kids and they will not dilate me for insertion due to this.