So I've blogged before about how initially he was almost crazy obsessed with ss14 when he first moved in here a few months ago. Moaning about his grades, his detentions, etc to the point in which he wasnt sleeping or eating because he was so upset about it all. Now he's done the total 180. There was a period in which ss14 was bringing his grades up so we talked about starting to give him some privileges back-well now he full on has privileges back (except cell and tv in his room). He got two disciplinary actions last week and in spite of those he still had a friend over Thursday, went fishing and hung out with the neighbor kid on Friday for hours, on Saturday went with a friend out to dinner and a basketball game. He also asked to do something on Sunday AND Monday but I said no to those. On Monday when ss got home from school-he did not do a lick of homework or any chores but again spent all evening fishing with the neighbor friend. He is currently still making 3 F's, 1 D, 1 C, and 1 B. The C and B are actually grades that have dropped in the last week or so-they were an A and a B+ (with the B+ going to a C). He has probably 10 missing assignments out. Two disciplinary actions last week-so two after school stays which my dh has to find rides to pick him up. But yep, he's hanging out with his friends, not doing his homework, or any sort of chores. He is supposed to be having a bday party this weekend with at least 4 overnite guests, but dh nor ss has done a thing about planning it-they are seemingly waiting for my dd or myself to do it. ?.

Generally ss14 is fairly pleasant in the household anymore (well, why not-he doesnt have to do anything?), but he still does nothing anybody says. I asked him on Sunday to please go through the clothes he had bagged up in the garage and put the ones he wants in his room-and to pick up all the clothes off his floor and either hang them in his closet or put them in his dresser. He told me he did it. I opened the door to his room this morning and there are probably 100 articles of clothing on his floor. There is not one single item in his dresser-all the draweres are completely empty and not one single item hanging in his closet-everything he owns is on the floor! And I'm not even going to go into how he threw everyone's wet clothes out of the dryer onto the floor and put his clothes in there even after I specifically told him he could not do that.

Dh has said NOTHING. About anything. I have tried to talk to him a couple of times about "you are letting him do too much" "his grades are going back down" and dh just doesnt even bat an eye. Now on one hand I dont even care. If ss wants to fish and fail 8th grade, well, whatever-not my kid. But it is starting to cause issues with the other kids. My ds12 wanted to go somewhere on Saturday. Dh told him no because he had not done "enough" chores for dh. Ironically the night before he told me that neither ss nor ds would do anything to help him with chores teh day prior. Yet,SS14 had already been given permission to go out with a friend. Hmmm. On Friday my dd14 wanted to have a friend over, dh told her No, because you've had an attitude with me. DD14 got really p.o.'d as ss14 had a friend over the night prior and that day was already with another friend fishing. Yep, the same kid who had two disciplinary actions and was failing 3 classes. My dd has never failed anything in her life nor has she ever had a detention. My kids also both know if they ever had a detention or F it would be automatic grounding. NO going anywhere or doing anything-they'd be in some deep doo. If they ever even do anything approaching any of these things they get grounded. DD did have to sit in the office at lunch once. I grounded her for a week.

So what the hell is wrong with my dh? It's not like he is guilty or coddlign ss14-he just has been paying very minimal attention to him and if hanging out with a friend keeps him out of dh's hair he seems to be ok with it-but if the other kids ask then he seems to have no desire to keep them happy and out of his hair. I dont even get it.