and after CS ends, the call ALWAYS comes next... lol
So, after almost 6 years of...
1. you aren't here with me, fu#$%$% you
2. I'm not answering your calls just because you saw me online at 2AM on a school night on facebook
3. f#$%$#% you, my school stuff is my f#$%$5ing business
4. my mom blocked your number from my cell (sure, whatever...no matter what number DH called from it didn't work)
5. I have a new phone number every other month and I won't give it to you
6. send me some money cause my mom has 2 other kids to support and if you don't you are a f#$%#$5ing loser
7. f#$%#$%ck you ahole, you are afu#$%#$%ing loser and my mom is right
8. etc, etc, etc...
CHILD SUPPORT IS STOPPED by the CSE office in Texas (actually EARLY because of the overpayment DH had when the loser BM lied to the courts telling them he had never paid...over 7yrs ago...but of course, BM would not return the money to DH as CSE office suggested because F#$%#$5ck you!)
The SKID TODAY (just one week after CS stopped, so we assume they have already called the CSE office and they were told THE BUCK STOPS HERE lol)...
anyway, the SKID calls DH at work today with "hi daddyyyyy...I changed my cell number and just wanted to make sure you have it"
ARE YOU FUC#$%#$5ing kidding me? lol No, she didn't tell him off or say any of 1-8 above now that the CS stopped...of course not, now she has to start kissing up to him and be nice in the hopes that daddyyyyy will feel bad for her lousy situation, ie. 2 babies under 2 1/2, 17yrs old (almost 18), no high school diploma or GED and baby daddy is a loser...
So, let the "relationship begin". How much you want to bet in about a month she'll be calling again to see how daddy is doing now? How much you want to bet that now that CS has ended she'll want daddy's advice, daddy in her life and all the other crap...just so she can win daddy's heart and hopefully squeeze some money out of him? lol
I had told DH...just wait for the call...as soon as that check doesn't come in, YOU WILL HEAR FROM HER...sure enough...just a week later...haha
Thankfully, DADDY has her figured out. He will be there for advice, to build a relationship but that does NOT include handing out money to someone who has made a mess out of her life and has treated him like crap even though with the CS he sent he supported her 100%.
So, life is good...DH and I just had a drink.
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Comments
Holy F'ing S**t! Your SD
Holy F'ing S**t! Your SD takes the cake.
Victory shall be yours! Heck
Victory shall be yours! Heck no, I am SO glad he saw right through that miraculous desire to have Daddy in her life so coincidentally a week after CS was stopped.
Yes, when he got home he was
Yes, when he got home he was smiling...it's strange because it happened during the day, but he wanted to tell me IN PERSON lol He was ALL SMILES...and said "i'll make you a drink" lol He just smiled and laughed...
Please don't think he does NOT love his daughter. He defended that little witch always, even when she lied...and I took the shitty end of the stick...sadly, when she finally told him once too many times what a f#$%$#5ing loser he was, he realized what she truly was. He has ZERO intentions on helping her at this point. We have BOTH discussed that if she EVER goes back to school, gets some junior college certificate or something, AFTER the fact, if we have money, THEN we will give her a gift equal to what she spent OUT OF POCKET to get the degree...but it will NOT happen before, she will NOT get a dime for anything but education and ONLY after she spends the money herself and does something on her own without expecting a thing from him.
I get it, herewegoagain, my
I get it, herewegoagain, my husband loves his daughters and he would love nothing more than to swoop in and save the day but he knows better. He is realistic about it and knows that they need to stand on their own 2 feet and he knows they are manipulative. Thank God!
He is not about to buy a relationship with his own daughters.
Thanks...that is exactly
Thanks...that is exactly right.
PS - we have not yet planned
PS - we have not yet planned a vacation, but we do plan to go back to the states sometime in the next couple of months...so it'll be a mini vacation
I really have mixed feelings
I really have mixed feelings about this. I think your SDs motive in reaching out to DH is obvious. And I'm glad he wants a relationship with her that isn't based on money.
But I really think everyone involved also lost big in a way. Your DH was never allowed to be a loving dad to SD. He was fought at every turn by BM. And SD has NO positive adult male influence in her life. Maybe if BM had let her bond with DH, things would be different. Maybe she wouldn't be a mother twice over at 17. And I don't think your DH is blameless here either. He never held SD to any sort of standards when she was over. I think that between DH, BM and SD, everyone has to shoulder some blame for how SD has turned out. And I include SD in that because I feel that once you have kids, you have to grow up. I'm saddened that becoming a mom didn't make her try to better things for herself and the kids. And I think the person who needs to be blamed the most is BM. She mostly created this monster.
Well, I agree with you to a
Well, I agree with you to a certain extent. Please know that for the last 8 years almost he has seen her only maybe twice. We lived outside of the states and for the first 3 years anytime we visited (I worked for an airline back then), DH would call BM and let her know he was coming to visit...only 2 times out of possibly 10-12 was he able to see her. He would call time and time again after we arrived and BM would never answer the phone. When he finally would drive to their house, they would be gone, usually we would find out later that they had gone out of town.
My DH has tried NUMEROUS times to call his daughter, etc. and visited her school, spoke with her, etc...each and every time she told him to f#$%#$5ck off. Yes, it is sad and I do blame the BM for 99.9% of this, but as his daughter, she had no right to treat him so badly when she very well knew that he did try to call and she just wouldn't answer, would tell her sisters to tell him she wasn't there, etc...
So, yes, hey, even OUR SON lost. You have no idea how many times when our son was 3, 4, 5 he would start crying and say "no brothers, so sisters"...IT FUC#$%45ing tore me up...but at some point we had to focus on him and just try to make his life better. We could no longer afford to travel after I no longer had the airline job and our son was diagnosed with autism. So, really, there are a lot of losers here...no doubt...INCLUDING OUR SON.
Maybe some day it will be better, who knows. Again, DH and I have always stated that once CS was over, maybe things would be different. He is open to it, I am open to it as well...but he will not put up with her disrespect. She is sadly very much like her mother, maybe someday, she'll grow up.
PS - last time DH saw her, at her school (that is the ONLY way he could see her), he spoke with her and told her "I expect you to go to school, do your work and know that you are a young lady now...you may think guys are all over you, but they are only after you for one thing at this age...and you need to value yourself, as I value you and not end up pregnant". She at the time told him that she was NOT having sex...two days later, she posted some crap about hoping to get pregnant.
Thank you. That is exactly
Thank you. That is exactly how he sees it.
1. No more threats from crazy BM and no more PAS, all under the approval of the shitty CSE offices
2. Now he can have a relationship...it's up to her. If she wants a relationship, he will be there. But it will NOT be about money as it has been for all these years. It will be about respect, not kissing ass respect, but respect.
You're right...the only thing
You're right...the only thing is that at least DH knows that is how she sees him and he has had enough.