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I Think Ann Will Be Losing Her Kid Sooner Rather Than Later

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I haven't seen Ann in a while. As I mentioned in one of my other blog posts, she was suspended from her job about two months ago (I still don't know why and I could get in trouble for asking). But I got together with her and two other work friends last night for dinner at my house, and boy, she has lost her mind.

She acts like she's all happy to not be working. She puts on a happy face and talks about all the fun she's having, but she's not fooling any of us. But, whatever. She's working on a children's book, going to yoga, spending extra time with Hot Tommy (who, if you recall, was "laid off" from his $100K+ per year job right around the same time Ann was suspended...hmmm...).

She brought Chris with her, and let me tell you, I have never seen a more unhappy child in my life. He didn't smile once. He barely responded to questions, and mumbled one-word answers. He usually loves coming over to my house, but all he did was sit downstairs in the family room watching TV alone. He refused to associate with anyone. Meanwhile, Ann was working her way through an entire bottle of wine (which, apparently, is a nightly thing now) and talking about how Chris will be 12 in a year and a half, and then she's going to let him go live with his father out of state. Good! I hope she does! Chris spent his entire Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks with his dad, and said he had a wonderful time. No, Ann CHOSE not to see her son at all for Thanksgiving or Christmas, even though according to her CO, she gets him both holidays. No, she was with Tom and HIS kids. After all, "When it's just Chris and me, it doesn't feel like family. When I'm with Todd, WE feel like family." Yet, in the same breath, she talks about how her and Todd's relastionship hasn't "evolved." They've been together about a year now, and they're still in the early dating phase, as she puts it. They see each other a couple times a week, they don't really share deeply personal stuff.

Grrrrrrr...I'm getting STEAMED rehashing this, but I guess that's therapeutic!

Anyway, she went to talk about how Mary and Liam (Tom's kids) now call her "Mom" sometimes, and it's so sweet, blah blah blah... and she insists that Chris isn't listening, but it's not like she was being quiet and he's a kid who absorbs EVERYTHING. Why the hell wouldn't he be miserable when he's being replaced? When his mother is more than happy to have him gone so she can be with her "new" kids? I mean, she sends him to spend the night with her parents or brother every Friday night so SHE can spend the night at Tom's. Why is Chris not welcome? Is it because he punched Mary? I hope he does go live with his dad. Maybe that would be her wake-up call. But maybe not.

My other two friends and I were talking this morning. She's lost. Very, very lost. She's a high functioning alcoholic, she's in a highly dysfunctional relationship, she's driving her only child away, she's just a mess. How do you help someone like that, who's in such complete denial? Do we just let her crash and burn? Maybe that's all that's left.

Oh, something else kind of random, but super weird. Ann was telling us how Tom's kids felt like going trick or treating last weekend. LAST WEEKEND! January 6. So, they got into their costumes and went door to door in the neighborhood asking for stuff. And people gave them fruit, cookies, leftover Christmas candy. W?T?F? Who does that? Way to teach your kids to be entitled little beggars. So, so strange.


hereiam's picture

That is all very sad.

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like Ann is going to change the situation until she hits rock bottom.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I agree. Our other two friends think she needs our support and possibly some kind of intervention, but I disagree. She wouldn't be receptive to any of that at this point.

AshMar654's picture

Sounds like the he was using his kids to get free stuff. I do not really feel sorry for Ann at this point. She is a train wreck and eventually it will all blow up in her face. Sounds like two very emotionally and mentally you teenagers dating. They do not sound like two sound adults trying to provide for their families.

There is nothing you can do at this point other then watch her crash and burn and hope that her son goes lives with his dad. Sounds like he is a good kid. If he was there and just watching TV and not getting in the adults way and being all crazy that is good. I feel for the kid in all this. If you see her again and notice it getting worse say something to child services. Drinking a whole bottle of wine....I hope she did not drive home after that.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

He IS a good kid. Very sweet and happy go lucky. At least he used to be. I think, if he stays with Ann, he's going to be a sullen, self-destructive teenager in no time. He'll be helping himself to Ann's alcohol. It's sad to see. And no, she did not drive home. She insisted that she was absolutely fine (and I'm sure it's something she does regularly) but no. Not from my house! One of our friends dropped her and Chris off on her way home.

sunshinex's picture

Oh this is heartbreaking. I've heard some women simply don't bond with their kids at birth so it affects their ability to love/have a relationship with them indefinitely. That's what it sounds like happened with Ann and Chris. Maybe she's trying to redeem herself by being a mother to these new kids in her life? Whatever is going on, it's very, very sad for her boy. I can't imagine putting ANYONE'S kids before my own. I hope he goes and lives with his father. And I hope his father is more kind and loving.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

You know, before she was involved with Tom, she was very much a kind, loving, and attentive mother. I have no idea what the hell happened. It's like she's a completely different person. And yes, I hope he does go live with his dad. Ann trashes him and the SM left and right, but Chris seems a lot happier with them than her lately.

moving_on_again's picture

Ugh, it just keeps getting worse and worse.

How are they supporting themselves with no income?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I have no idea how he's supporting himself. Apparently he didn't work for almost a year prior to this last job, that he only had for a few months. He's got a 5-bedroom house with a pool, so he's not exactly living cheap. Ann is still getting paid, for now. Until her accrued sick time and vacation hours run out, which should be soon.

Aniki's picture

Poor Chris!!! Is there any reason why his Dad is not trying to get full custody now? Honestly, I'd feel compelled to contact whoever necessary to get the ball rolling and get that boy away from Ann and the nightmare she has created. And I'd like to Flying Five Fist Monkey C*nt Punch Ann. She has turned into a total beeyotch.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I don't think he really has any idea what's going on here. He lives a couple states away. I'm sure if he knew, he might. Oh well. Ann's going to give him the choice anyway once he turns 12. He'll probably be so out of control by then she won't know what to do with him. I think Ann's very good with young kids, not so much with teens.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I don't know. I don't even know WHAT she's suspended for, and I won't ask because I work for the same agency and unit and could get in trouble for asking.

Sweet T's picture

I will say this and I know some may feel different but I would never choose a man over my child. My husband's mom left him when he was 12 or 13 with his grandma and then his uncle. She had husband #3 lined up when she had him come live with her again. He says it is awful to have your mom discard you like that.

There are times when I know he wishes we had more time alone, but he gets that I have to be the parent and try to be a good one. He has said he wishes he had a mother like me when growing up.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Right? It's lot like you get do-overs when raising kids. Lord knows I've made mistakes. Haven't we all? But NEVER NEVER did I or would I choose a man over my son.

Your poor hubby!

Sweet T's picture

It gets better #3 was a drunk who tried to get physical with my husband and he kicked his ass and knocked out his tooth.

They had some not so good times. My mil is quite the story. But she is good to me and BS, and has gotten her shit together...but omg back in the day.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Seriously. That's got to be it! The guy is ugly as sin (think Tom Cruise's ugly cousin but shorter), has awful kids, and is an unemployed mess who constantly cries about his (nonexistent) Crohn's Disease and lives at the yoga studio trying to get his chi centered.

Aniki's picture

Oh.Em.Gee. What in the world did he say/do to her that made her want a second date with the cretin??

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Well, initially it was the fact that he is into yoga and meditation and all that holistic stuff. Not that I'd knock that- I mean, I do yoga- but she's hardcore into all that. Also, she thinks he's HOT. as in, SUPER HOT. I do NOT understand that AT ALL, but hey, to each his own. I don't get any of it.

FrenchPeas's picture

What in the WORLD??? She’s a dumb butt about all of this. What a shame. Her poor kid. I want to hug him.

Aniki's picture

Guess ol' Tommy has a magic wanker. Maybe Ann thinks that an ugly troglodyte won't cheat on her...

bananaseedo's picture

"and lives at the yoga studio trying to get his chi centered." LOL hot mess all around these two! Poor kid.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

You know, I've thought about it. He and Ann both have prescription "medical marijuana" and they both smoke fairly often, but selling...I don't know. I suppose time will tell all.

MurphysLaw's picture

Very sad story...
I know a few women that abandoned their children to run after men, both were functioning alcoholics/ cokeheads. Would never know it to look at them!
Fast forward 20 years, One woman’s son22 committed suicide her other son is a recovering heroin addict.
The other woman’s son has 4 children by 4 different women & has been in & out of jail.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

How sad. I do hope Chris gets out of that mess before he starts breaking into Ann's stash.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Do you know why she thinks she has to let Chris get to age 12 and ask to be with his father before she will let him go? She could make the change right now if she wanted to. I wonder if she needs the child support?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I wish she would just let him go. I don’t know why she’s stuck on age 12. Maybe that’s when she thinks the courts will give him a say. I think if she offered full custody to her ex, he’d gladly take it. But yeah, I’m sure she does need the money right now. And if she ends up losing her job and has trouble finding a new one, it’ll be her only income.

FieryEscape's picture

She sends her son away on her holidays and weekends so she can spend them with her boyfriend and his kids ? Holy hell....that poor kid ...

2 month suspension ...has to be something bad . And the drinking . She is going to crash and burn soon,

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Yeah, she’s something else. I don’t understand why she’s so fascinated with Tom’s horrid brats and can’t be bothered with her own child.