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Feeling Selfish

frustratedstepdad's picture

So today is our anniversary, and on Sunday it's my birthday. We had a pretty good weekend planned. I have flowers being delivered to her job today, and tomorrow we were planning on hitting the nude beach with some friends, and then having a small cookout at our house. On Saturday, she had actually planned to surprise me for my birthday with a nude massage from herself and a female friend of ours.

On Monday night though, we received a call that that her favorite uncle passed away. I had no problem with our plans getting cancelled, because I liked her uncle too and he was one of the few people that always made me feel like I was a part of the family. His funeral will be this Saturday.

My wife drove down yesterday to visit her aunt to see how she's doing. One of her other cousins said that after the funeral on Saturday, they are going to have a birthday party for his wife and we are more than welcome to come. So my wife told me about that, and initially I said yes. Then I got to thinking about it, and I told her this morning that I wouldn't feel up to going. I know this sounds completely selfish, but I feel like why should I go celebrate somebody else's birthday that I don't even know when we cancelled all the plans for my birthday. My wife is a little bummed that I changed my mind about going, but I always feel like I get the short end of the stick when it comes to my birthday because we hardly ever do anything for it.

Am I being selfish for feeling this way? Part of me feels a little guilty for not wanting to go to her cousin's birthday party.


DaizyDuke's picture

Nude beach, nude massage? My, my, my! Can't blame a guy for not wanting to go to some boring old cousins backyard birthday party! Can't you get a rain check for your birthday lovin?

frustratedstepdad's picture

LOL it would be nice to get a rain check, but don't think it will happen. It kinda sucks because usually my birthday is just an after-thought and nothing big is ever planned. Seems like every time something big is planned, something happens to cancel it...

frustratedstepdad's picture

I get what you're saying....and I do feel a little selfish. My wife and I are driving down early on Saturday to set up everything at the church for the funeral so the immediate family doesn't have to worry about any of that. Like I said I had no problem cancelling our plans for the weekend, but I really don't feel like celebrating someone else's birthday that same weekend.

spittenfire's picture

I wonder if any of you have taken a gander at his niceguycipherblogspot.....probably didnt enter it right. It is listed by his signature line a few months ago i took a look at it out of curiosity....tehe....I dont think he made it each thier own!

Frustratedstepdad...... go support your wife! Worry about your massage on your birthday....and if it is just your wife that can give it to you....isnt that all that really really matters? Wink

MamaFox's picture

Foxes and Monkeys and lotions and hoses and baskets......

I have reached my quota of weird for the day!

MamaFox's picture


Willow2010's picture

a nude massage from herself and a female friend of ours."
Ummm ok. Wait...aren't you the one that has the horribly skanky SD's? Maybe they just did not fall far from the tree....iky.

frustratedstepdad's picture

I questioned whether or not to even mention anything about the nude beach or massage. Considering that we used to be swingers, why is getting a nude massage that out of the ordinary? Sorry, it's not a made up Penthouse story. I understand that for most it's not your cup of tea, and everyone is entitled to their opinion of what a "skank" is. I did post on here asking for opinions, and everyone has their own set of morals and values, so I do welcome everyone's point of view.

Alright so the overwhelming opinion is that I am selfish because I don't want to go to her cousin's wife's birthday party.

Drac0's picture

I for one don't think you are being selfish.

However you did initally agree to going to your wife's cousin's party and then backed out. I'd just bite the bullet on this one frustrated. I'm willing to bet you'll still be getting your massage sooner or later! Wink

Take me for example and what I did for Father's Day. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the day for myself and would end up feeling down. So I took half the day off the Friday before and went downtown.

frustratedstepdad's picture

That's what I don't get. She doesn't feel up to celebrating my birthday and I completely understand that and had no problem cancelling our plans. I just don't feel like going to somebody ELSE's birthday celebration, and I've never even met this cousin of hers before.

Yes I do feel a little pressured to go since everybody will already be in town for the funeral.

Jsmom's picture

Whole situation is off a little. She doesn't need to go to that birthday. She can do the funeral, but then celebrate her husbands birthday. I do not think you are being selfish.

I have no problem with the nudity. Some people like it, to each his own. As for the massage. DH would be all over that, I would be very uncomfortable. But, if she is okay with it. Go for it.

Willow2010's picture

Ok..I try not too be judgmental and I really was back there and it had nothing to do with your post. Sorry it just threw me off a bit. lol

I kind of think you are being selfish, but then again it is your bday. Can you just go to their party for 30 minutes, just to make an appearance then leave to get your nekkid massage.

Drac0's picture

I dunno. Last time I commented on your blogs we had a very brief discussion about how little "me time" you have for yourself. If it were me, I would go to the party and just chill. I am sure my massage special surprise would come later. But I have a couple of hobbies that doesn't include my family and so I have enough "me time" in order to keep me sane. So if my birthday plans got nixed, for any reason, it wouldn't bother me so much. You OTOH, do not have enough "me time" (please correct me if I'm wrong).

frustratedstepdad's picture

Yes you are right...I've been lacking in ME time definitely. Since I forbid SD24 from moving back in that has changed though, so I'm really okay with not doing anything for my birthday. If my wife really, REALLY wants to go to this cousin's birthday party after the funeral, then I'll go ahead and go.

I'll talk with her later about it.

Drac0's picture

Good point Mairin. I don't think I would be in any kind of festive mood after going to a funeral of a beloved relative.

moeilijk's picture

Your wife hasn't told you about any plans she has to celebrate your birthday now that the original plan got cancelled. She has asked you to celebrate someone else's birthday, someone you don't really know, instead.

I think instead of putting this on your shoulders alone, you should ask your wife what plans she's made to celebrate your birthday, given the changed circumstances. Then you can decide if you want to go to support your wife who is doing something special for you a bit later this year... or if you will stay home and bake yourself a cake to celebrate your own d*mn birthday.

Justshootme's picture

Personally, it sounds like a great plan for a birthday, so could you just postpone it a week? At our age, nobody really cares if it's your actual "birth" day anyway (I try to forget mine! Blum 3 )

btw- I would love a birthday celebration like that. Smile

frustratedstepdad's picture

It would be great if things could be rescheduled, but next weekend SD24 finally got approved for an apartment in a city 2 hours away, which my DW co-signed for. So we will have to help her move her stuff down there if she can't get someone else to help. If we don't have to help, her family has a family reunion planned for this weekend so we'll be going to that if we don't help her move.

Then the weekend after that we will have the grandkids. Then the weekend after that we are going on our anniversary trip to Mexico. Yes it's a clothing-optional resort for all the "Dear Penthouse" readers...LOL. It's called Mak Nuk Village.

Honestly I don't even want DW to feel pressured to "make up" anything for my birthday, I just don't feel like going to the other birthday celebration that same weekend.

Justshootme's picture

I can understand that. It seems like a bit of a double standard.

At least you can have some fun soon. I'm in the bible belt, so I understand how some people might feel a little weirded out by how comfortable some activities can be to people.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Oh I completely understand the whole Bible Belt thing, being originally from North Carolina. Things over here on the West Coast definitely seem...."less restrictive" LOL

frustratedstepdad's picture

LMAO. It's not that I'm mad or anything. As soon as we found out about her uncle, I contacted folks to let them know we were cancelling all of our weekend plans. I just didn't understand why she's wasn't in the mood to celebrate my birthday, but wants to celebrate her cousin's birthday the exact same weekend.

I talked with her more about it today, and she said she only wanted to go because she felt bad that we weren't going to do anything for my birthday, so she wanted me to have a little fun.

So we won't be going to the birthday party after the funeral, we will just be going home after we finish cleaning up everything at the church.

Shaman29's picture

While I'm trying to get past your TMI.......

Don't be a jerk. Go with your wife. Have your threesome another time.