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What Kind of Crazy are These Ex's?

Francesca's picture

Talking about ex-wives, so many posts on here about them. I've tried to understand why they are so crazy, our BM, obviously. It has been making me sick as well. I've been making an effort to do things with friends to try to disengage. To remember life before the maniac.
Here is a taste of some of her antics.

Take herself to the emergency room in the middle of the night claiming to be found by police passed out in the car. Diagnosis-dizziness.

When SO asks her for a divorce she produces an ultrasound picture, says she is 6 months (?) pregnant and goes into the bathroom. Exits some time later claiming to have miscarried in the toilet. (Ok, he's a man's man, not a gyne, but even he knows that is not possible-no blood, no fetus).

Some weeks later takes a bottle of pills and goes into the bathroom and locks the door. Teens must get her out. Goes into the car and turns on gas, teens must get her out. DCFS investigation starts as kids are traumatized at school.

SO must return home to watch her in DCFS agreement.

Puts (then 2 year old) into the car on many nights and drives off leaving teens at home alone. Tells SO she's running away.

Tries to get housing with relatives out of state to leave with kids.

Calls all relatives in and out of country to tell them we are alcoholics and drug addicts and I am making him drive drunk every night. Tells them I give him drugs and money, he's out of his mind, doesn't know what he's doing leaving her. Wants them to intervene on her behalf.
Tells them I'm fat and ugly and old and he must be out of his mind on drugs-intervention needed.

Calls all night screaming and crying threatening bodily harm for many months.

Chases me in her car.

Tries to beat up SO to get him to come back to her (good plan there!)

Brings a priest over to see him.

Won't sign loan modification papers (about to foreclose on their house) because I helped him get the modification. Starts fight in front of house and neighbors because he wants her to sign. Swears and screams and gives me the finger in front of all the neighbors on a find sunny day.

Stops paying car and insurance payment (he gave her the money every month) and car is repossessed. Car in his name. Cries on phone because nice truck with tv is now gone. Boo hoo.

Files bankruptcy in his name (I get her name added on).

Refuses to work because it's beneath her.

Starts to send him little packages of food, cookies, meats, etc.

Refuses to bring documents to public aid office because I filled out the papers for her (she was denied twice for not producing documents, said SO made too much money) SO forces her, food stamps given.

Trashes garage three times and calls police claiming robbery. Nothing missing. Even makes reports. Calls SO to come see trashed garage. We find window glass taken out of window packed in a box (claimed they smashed it in).

Goes to cell phone store and texts me claiming to be a friend, "you're boyfriend doesn't love you, he is just with you because he feels sorry for you. He is cheating on you, I'd kick him out if I was you." No name, call back number it's a display phone at T-Mobil.

When SO goes to bring kids presents last Christmas she tries get him to sleep with her. He leaves mad and she starts to throw things at him on Christmas Eve.

Early on he tells DCFS counselor that he wants a divorce and she takes picture off of wall and throws it at him (that might work, right?)

Sends me text messages that she and SO are making love while I'm at work. I'm not always at work Smile

Refuses to tell SO what school teens are enrolled in. Have to do investigation to send him to orientation. She asks for $500.00 more than she needs.

Tells teens father kicked them out of the house and that he loves his whore more than them. House rented due to unemployment.

Has kids write letters calling me a whore, well done there.

Refuses to put girl in preschool because I found a school who would let her in after class is full. Mother never looked.

Refuses to give him kids birth certificates and marriage certificate to file divorce. Have to order them.

Recently leaves for 4 days and we report them missing.

Quits mediation after one session, refuses to bring teens to see father.

Steals $3000.00 tax refund.

Tries to get SO to go to marriage counseling by lying and saying it is abut the boys.

Tells counselor SO kicked her and kids out of house and has to go to church for food.

I'm not sure that list is exhaustive but now that I read it I'm amazed we survived. So tell me, what kind of crazy is this?
F.

Comments

Ssamantha's picture

Whenever I think back to all the crazy things BM does, I often ask myself....Why did DF ever get involved with this psycho and why oh why did he bring not one, but two children in this world with her?

skylarksms's picture

Ditto. But I know why - H has told me. It was the sex. She was the only female who showed interest in him.

Sidenote: My H gets interest showed in him by females, he is just too clueless to realize it unless they are clobbering him over the head with it!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

My DH has 3 BMs. They managed to hide the crazy really well until they had sealed the deal. Then they really let it fly.

BM2 had a warrant out for her arrest, so the state troopers advised DH not to return SD to her, and to contact them if he heard from her. So on her day to pick up SD from preschool for transition, he kept her home. BM showed up several hours early, knowing if she showed up on time the troopers would be waiting to arrest her. SD was not there, so she took SD's Permanent Fund Dividend for that year and skipped town with her other children, hiding out for over 2 years.

BM3 stole DH's entire tax return the year they divorced. He was dumb enough to trust her, and she scooped every bit of it and spent it as soon as it hit the bank. It wasn't a truckload of money...his half was about $1500, and because of it, he will NEVER trust her with money issues again. He goes through CSSD to pay her less than $10 a month in child support because he doesn't trust that she will admit that he's been paying if he pays her privately. Sad, huh?

This same BM3 called him after he left her and told him she was pregnant, it was his, she wasn't giving the baby his last name, and he was not ever going to have anything to do with it. Of course she wasn't pregnant. It was a last ditch effort to try to suck him back in, and it didn't work. Just sad that people sink to these levels of crazy.

Unhappy's picture

That's I need a straight jacket, paded room with locked door, heavily medicated, and psychological eval done.

Holy crap. How on earth could you put up with that. The BM in my life is no pick-nic and has some mental issues, but yours sounds like she should be giving lessons in crazy.

If you have any of this documented, have you thought about maybe getting a restraining order? Has you SO laid clear boundaries as to where her place is? Meaning "EX" wife.

I would put my foot down with her. I actaully just did that recently and it felt great. I told her via text that I don't have what you want. I have what I want. And I know that she will always be there. But that's all she'll ever be, is just there. She didn't like that very much. LOL. But I did.

StepDeux's picture

I have been wondering that myself and I've come to the conclusion that there is no understanding crazy and no point in even trying. Why do you think psychologists have such high rates of suicide? lol...

BM has told us that we should invite her to dinner and let her bring a date. :? When we didn't invite her she sent me an email saying she was in shock that we had not yet extended an invitation and, instead, wanted to invite all of us.

BM has asked us to take custody of SD, then a few days later threatened to go to Court, then asked us to take SD again two days later. MULTIPLE times.

BM says she wants us to all be "one big happy family" and then sends me an email claiming my SO tried to sleep with her, and saying all this really hurtful things.

BM interrogatoes SD about our house and whether she likes SO and tapes it. (This will be great evidence of PAS in Court! }:) )

BM sends text messages about how she wants to give SD up for adoption so she can have a better life because BM can't handle her.

BM always talks about how "successful" she has been in life, although she has been on welfare for the last 6+ years, and works part-time as a waitress.

And, after the latest antics, I fear the worst is only yet to come. What kind of crazy it is, I don't know. The only thing I do know is that when you see crazy coming you cross the street.

on the fence's picture

A very good friend asked her DF exactly that. WTF were you thinking being anywhere near that psycho, much less breeding with it?!!!!!!

With no hesitation he answered back, "IF I COULD UN-FUCK IT, I WOULD!!!!"

They are the CPs,of course, not BM.

Ssamantha's picture

I guess I'll add some of mine to the bunch:

BM left her kids with DF full-time and moved over 8 hours away and didn't send a dime in child support. After four months, DF asked for help because daycare costs tripled and he was having a hard time. She refused and when he said he had no choice but to file for child support, she threatened to take him to court for child support.

BM said she didn't need to pay child support because he has a good job, a home, and a new girlfriend.

BM didn't buy her kids anything for xmas and when they asked why, she said she celebrated Kwanzaa. They asked what was Kwanzaa and she couldn't tell them because she didn't know.

BM paid rent on a house in a city 45 minutes away, didn't live in it for six months and then when she finally moved in she started paying thousands to contractors to fix it up (a rental home). After two months, she got kicked out for nonpayment of rent. During this time, she was in arrears by thousands of dollars.

BM told her kids a couple of weeks ago that the reason she abandoning them AGAIN is because she hates the city we live in and when she goes to fast food restaurants, they give her bad service. Unfortunately, BM does not live in our city...she lives 1.5 hours away in a different state.

LizzieA's picture

All I can say is wow. So clear when you write it out like that, isn't it?

PS I had a SIL who did the slanderous round robin phone calls to relatives after we married, sad she was so jealous of her BROTHER!

StepsunkMom's picture

its called bio polar disorder..lol..No but seriously.if she was taking medication she should go back on it.And seek help asap.Women like that seriously are sick and need help..legally insane?? does she seriously have custody of any of her kids..and how?
Good luck sister..live the same nighmare everyday.

Francesca's picture

They are not divorced yet. He hasn't had the retainer fee for these damn attorneys. He is ready to file now. We are going to file an order of protection, also. He is going to ask for a psych eval. Yeah, she's a whack job. So sad, the boys want to stay with her. She still thinks I'm forcing him to stay with me, she thinks I'm controlling him. She cannot face that he was unhappy for a long time and left her. I'm older than her, she can't claim the younger woman thing. She just keeps thinking up more tricks, hasn't she seen they don't work? And that attacking someone both mentally and physically is ABUSE and that a healthy person would not go back to that?