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CJ38's picture

I just don't know where to turn. My stepson was recently molested by a family member. We are going through the DCFS process of getting him evaluated. His mother is a complete demon. DCFS said the likelihood of finding it out is low. Anyway, he won't be taken away from her, and she will start suing my husband again. Since this has happened my SS has become very devious, lying about everything, acting like an adult and etc. He has also shown a drastic increase in his attentions towards my toddler. Two therapist said that he must never be left alone with my son, for even a second. On top of all this, my husband has become extremely emotional abusive towards me. He has been name calling and having violent outburst with me. He has let me know that if I leave, my son will be alone with SS without me there. He has also said that he refuses to believe my SS could do anything, and that he doesn't want to here me say that this could happen again. Even if my SS comes out with the abuse, his mother will mess with the therapy so much that it won't be effective. On top of that she is going to start taking us to court, and my husband wants to sell our house to pay for it. It is the only thing we have left with equity. I have to take all of the verbal abuse, because if he leaves me my mothers intuition tells me that my SS will violate my baby within a short period of time. Overnight I and my son have become literal prisoners. I can't leave because he will be in danger, I can't demand that he isn't around my SS without proof he is dangerous, which can only legally be proved by him doing something. My husband verbal violence isn't enough to keep my son from the situation. I have no money, or legal resources. I am literally stuck in HELL on earth, and I won't let anything happen to my son, as it has to my SS. :?


forestfairy's picture

Oh my god, what a freaking nightmare. I'm so sorry, I don't even know what I would do. Maybe flee the country. If the violence from your husband keeps escalating I would check into local domestic violence groups about your options. Seems like they might be able to help you get out of there.

Rhyleighblue's picture

Try the House of Ruth, or My Sisters Place. Call a domestic violence hotline. He doesn't have to beat you to be abusing you. Is there someplace that you could send your baby? A relative or close friend that you trust?

Also, if you choose to divorce him you can ask for supervised visitation due to the older child's history of sexual misconduct.

overworkedmom's picture

I would go talk to a lawyer yourself. Also call DCFS- get them to step in and say that the 2 children can not be left alone together/ can not be together at all. Follow the advice of the others as well, seek out a shelter and call the domestic abuse hotline. You can try to get supervised visitation if SS is there. I am so so sorry that all of this is happening.

Lalena75's picture

If therapists are saying ss should not be alone with your child then your dh's threats are means of controlling you through fear for your child and the situation will warrant supervised visits. emotional abuse is a terrible thing because it's so much harder to see to prove unlike bruises and physical injuries. Document everything every threat, get a voice recorder if need be, separate your finances and start setting away money you may need to get out fast. Not every abused person turns out to be an abuser I agree with that. Throwing away equity on a chance and potentially ruining you financially should really be looked at and thought deeply about obviously dad wants to protect his son but he should also want to protect both his children, he is likely suffering guilt and blaming himself for "letting this happen to his child" regardless if he could of prevented it or not and more than likely not. He is projecting his feelings onto you and it hurts I know. Get him to talk to someone if he won't you go to help build up your strength to do whatever you need to do for yourself and your child. Seek help and referrals from the abuse shelters and hotlines even if you don't need a place to go they are such a wealth of help.
I'm sorry you are having to go through this but don't sit and do nothing out of fear because doing nothing will not protect you and your child. your not alone, your not weak the best of people sometimes end up in the worst of situations and don't even realize how they got there or how they could of let it happen. It's okay, but it's time to stand up for your family.