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This really shouldn't be my responsibility!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

DH and I have had the SDs for a few weeks. And, it has been hell. First of all, SD10 has two teeth that are rotted out! She was crying and complaining for the first 4 days about the pain. And yes, I felt sorry for her because I know how bad that can hurt. I got her into the first dentist that could see her. And, I paid for a tooth extraction out of pocket. DH and I have joint finances but I earn 2/3 of our income. And, we both know he could not have afforded to do it without me. But the thing that pisses me off is BM. She called here yesterday, ranting about how its about time we do something for the girls. I kept my cool while she was on the phone. But really? Who the hell does she think she is? She sits on her butt and collects child support and hasn't worked a day in years. And, we pay her an exorbitant amount of child support each month, even months when the girls are here. I just wanted to scream. She has let her daughter's teeth become so bad that two of them were completely rotted down to the gum. She tells me that she didn't know that they were that bad because SD10 never complains at her house. I know for this girl's teeth to be so bad that she has been complaining. And, then to make matters worse, SD7 is sick with an upper respiratory infection and needs to see the pediatrician. When DH called BM to get her insurance info, she refused to give it to him. We had to argue with her for 20 minutes. She told DH to pay out of pocket if he wanted to take her to the doctor??? Who the hell does that? I am just so fed up. Lets face it: these are not my kids. They are her kids. She makes sure to say that every time she sees me. And yet, she has the audacity to tell me that it is my responsibility to pay for their dental and pediatric care. What a bunch of BS!

Comments

lily11's picture

Sweet Pea: I'm with you on the bad mood part. I've been through all this nonsense and it makes me so irritable to see what BM's put kids and the stepparents through. They have way too much power. When our child support stopped and SS18 stopped buying into the brainwashing, BM lost all her "power".

Puzzled: I really respect your intention to do a kind thing and take care of this poor girl with her rotting teeth. You are definitely going to have to figure out some boundaries though. I've been down that road and it's not easy. These kids are little and BM will keep wanting more and more. She will take advantage of you.

lily11's picture

Also, my DH kept a file of records and receipts for every single doctors copay and anything else he paid above and beyond child support. He kept it for years and kept good records. When BM took DH back to court to get more child support, DH presented the lawyers with his receipts and was able to prevent her from pursuing "back payments" because of how much extra he paid her. It also helped him "look good" to the judge. It's ridiculous how good fathers are judged as though they are bums. I hate that.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

You can have them on 2 insurance policies but one needs to be the primary and the other is secondary. They are supposed to present it to the primary first and then the secondary.