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Little annoyed

Dc3sc2's picture

Blogging because I want to get it out and this is my safe space. 
I know in comparison to a lot on here I don't have it too bad. My sds are not openly disrespectful more if no one is telling them put that empty can in the bin they won't. Off sd10 I get the look quite frequently and if me and dh are having a cuddle on the sofa she will try get in the middle grab her dads hand and say "my daddy" as if we don't all already know. 
My issue this week is my Dh. He seems to hold me and my ex to a higher standard than he holds himself and his ex. My bios go to their dads eow and he is pretty rubbish about what I consider basic hygiene teeth brushing and bathing. It's something that is important to me but I try not to interfere. So they will come home Sunday a bit smelly and not brushed their teeth for a few days my dh will complain about it or give me the look like wtf. 
However sd10 came over at the weekend and said when told to get a bath "do I have to wash my hair because I got a bath a few days ago?" My instant thought was to wait for the complaint that usually goes with this lack of hygiene from my Dh, he just laughed and said yes. On Sunday sd10 said "I don't like apples because they hurt my teeth when I eat them" as she hadn't brushed her teeth since she had been at our house I said maybe they wouldn't hurt if she brushed them because she hadn't done it in 2 days. My dh stayed silent. 
Also on a completely unrelated note sd10 was wearing one of my T-shirt's my dh borrowed it, then sd13 borrowed it off him, now sd10 is borrowing it off sd13, I haven't been able to wear it in 2 years because it's been at bms house. Wondering if she's borrowed this T-shirt. It's a large T-shirt and she wore it with too small jogging pants and boots? Like who wears jogging pants with boots? 
I know this post is quite petty but I just needed to get it out somewhere. 
 

Comments

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Petty annoyances can add up. So vent away sometimes it's all we have to maintain our sanity.

lieutenant_dad's picture

It's not petty, though. You're laying out disrespectful behavior by people in your orbit, so it makes total since that the disresctful things they do are annoying.

It's not okay for your DH to complain about your kids and their father when he does the exact same thing. Next time he does it, point it out to him and tell him it isn't okay. The only way it has the potential to stop is if you speak up.

In regards to the t-shirt, next time you see it, tell SD to go change and tell your DH it wasn't his to lend out and he needs to talk to you and get your permission if he wants to loan something out f yours. I don't care if you get the shirt back and burn it; it's yours and not his to give out.

And finally, next time SD butts in and DH doesn't immediately tell her to not squeeze in between you two, get up and go elsewhere. If he feels like he needs to stop cuddling and deal with SD, then he needs to communicate that with you. It's not hard to say "hey dear, I would like to spend some time with SD now".

You get treated how you allow others to treat you. Stop letting them treat you poorly.

tog redux's picture

I'm confused by this shirt that is a fashion accessory for men, women, and girls  Smile

It's not petty to want your stuff back - don't lend anything to them anymore if they don't return it.  Including DH.

CLove's picture

Small things really do build up, until you are so totally frustrated you explode.

I have a hard line about borrowing my stuff without asking.

I would encourage your children to keep themselves clean, and begin a bit of disengagement. And let your DH know "Ive got it covered dear, your kiddos need your attention in this matter..." then let it go.

Precious princess needs to stop being mini-wife-ish. Squeezing in between you two isnt a HUGE deal, but its the beginning of some really aweful behavior.

Sometimes it really is the small things.