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Warm Fuzzy Steplife Moment

CastleJJ's picture

SS9 has been a rollercoaster for the last week and a half. Heck, he has been a rollercoast for the 8.5 years I have known him. Some days he is condesending, argumentative, and rude like BM, and other days he is sweet, kind, and appears settled/well-adjusted. 

We try to wind down each night with a movie. This is our tradition. DH and I normally do this every night, even when SS isn't here, but when SS is here, the movies are always family friendly. Tonight, we watched a Disney movie about superheroes. I asked DH to make the popcorn. He thought that I was requesting the popcorn on behalf of SS9 and that SS was the only one wanting popcorn, not realizing that I was the one who wanted it, which is why I asked for it in the first place. DH is normally great about pretty much everything; he is good about cooking and cleaning, does everything for SS when he is here, tries to do/remember the little things, and is a good husband and father, but lately I have been feeling deflated and sorry for myself due to work and my own recent personal struggles. Add steplife and a HCBM on top of it, and well, I've been cranky lately. So, I made a snide comment to DH while making popcorn for myself, that if I had a superpower, it would be invisibility, since I seem to be invisible/unimportant to just about everyone. 

SS9 looked at me for a moment, but didn't say anything. As I came back to the couch with my bowl of popcorn, SS9 said "Your superpower couldn't be invisibility." I looked at him confused and asked "Why?" He said, "You could never be invisible, not in this family, not to me." He commented about how I am so nice and that I do so much for him and our family. He reminisced about little things that I have done for him, some of which happened years ago. He said that I am the glue that holds our family together. 

It made me choke up because for one moment, I was appreciated and valued by my stepson. I have never been valued or appreciated by HCBM, her GF, their family, and for the most part, SS9, for the 8.5 years I have been with DH. I took on the stepmom role understanding that stepmoms do a lot of work for no reward, while bioparents reap the benefits, glory, and admiration. Actually, I have been blamed by HCBM and GF for just about everything, so to hear from SS9 that I am making a positive impact in his life, even through tiny actions, meant so much.


Beenall3kindsofmom's picture

Moments like you described make it easier to handle all the rest. Sounds like you are loved much more than you ever thought. It's hard for even bio kids to show appreciation for their parents, so not surprising that SK's with miserable bio examples don't seem to get it. My OSS was a serious pain to deal with for most of his childhood, especially as a teen. Well, he married a woman with a young son that she had primary custody of who lives with them 80%. His wife was singing his praises as to what a wonderful stepdad he was.......he turned to me and said "you deserve all the credit for taught me how to love.....and how to be the best kind of step parent.  I cried of and on for 15 minutes.  It was worth waiting for!

Winterglow's picture

I love reading things like this!  It just made my day. *yahoo*