Warm Fuzzy Steplife Moment
SS9 has been a rollercoaster for the last week and a half. Heck, he has been a rollercoast for the 8.5 years I have known him. Some days he is condesending, argumentative, and rude like BM, and other days he is sweet, kind, and appears settled/well-adjusted.
We try to wind down each night with a movie. This is our tradition. DH and I normally do this every night, even when SS isn't here, but when SS is here, the movies are always family friendly. Tonight, we watched a Disney movie about superheroes. I asked DH to make the popcorn. He thought that I was requesting the popcorn on behalf of SS9 and that SS was the only one wanting popcorn, not realizing that I was the one who wanted it, which is why I asked for it in the first place. DH is normally great about pretty much everything; he is good about cooking and cleaning, does everything for SS when he is here, tries to do/remember the little things, and is a good husband and father, but lately I have been feeling deflated and sorry for myself due to work and my own recent personal struggles. Add steplife and a HCBM on top of it, and well, I've been cranky lately. So, I made a snide comment to DH while making popcorn for myself, that if I had a superpower, it would be invisibility, since I seem to be invisible/unimportant to just about everyone.
SS9 looked at me for a moment, but didn't say anything. As I came back to the couch with my bowl of popcorn, SS9 said "Your superpower couldn't be invisibility." I looked at him confused and asked "Why?" He said, "You could never be invisible, not in this family, not to me." He commented about how I am so nice and that I do so much for him and our family. He reminisced about little things that I have done for him, some of which happened years ago. He said that I am the glue that holds our family together.
It made me choke up because for one moment, I was appreciated and valued by my stepson. I have never been valued or appreciated by HCBM, her GF, their family, and for the most part, SS9, for the 8.5 years I have been with DH. I took on the stepmom role understanding that stepmoms do a lot of work for no reward, while bioparents reap the benefits, glory, and admiration. Actually, I have been blamed by HCBM and GF for just about everything, so to hear from SS9 that I am making a positive impact in his life, even through tiny actions, meant so much.