You are here

Guess who calls and says she is sick of ss again...

Candice's picture

That is right, bm is really thinking of just dropping ss off on our doorstep b/c she says she can't deal with him.

To recap, ss lived with us two years ago, summer he went to bm's, at the end of that summer, she said "but ss wants to live with me..." b/c it was a "trial year" we didn't have a leg to stand on to be awarded true custody. She told everyone "It just wasn't working." Then 3 months later, she needs ss to live with us 50/50. Then two months later she said "ss needs to live with you full time...he needs the structure and stability that you guys offer, and I just can't offer that right now..." then 1.5 months later she breaks up with bf, and ss automatically thinks he is moving back in with her and my dh calls her and she says in the snottist voice..."Well, ss IS moving back in w/me and ss IS going to my school district next year!" That is when we sent ss packing and told her to come pick him up that night.

Since then she has moved several times, and has reunited with the same bf she broke up with last February, claims her bf is way too strict for her 13 yo, yet is planning on buying a house with him in the near future. She also has told ss that his father has abandoned him, but she tells dh she wants to just drop him off on our doorstep unannounced.

I'm so proud of dh, he told her to call the therapist dh, myself, and ss have been working with, and make an appointment for HER to take herself and ss to. This woman thinks we are a half way house that she gets to dump her ill mannered kid off whenever she wants, and then takes him back when she's in the mood for him. She is just using us, and he finally put an END to it!

Selfish people suck,
Candice

Comments

Candice's picture

I got to work this a.m. and the first question dh said was..."guess who called?" with the biggest laughing grin on his face...

Just picture the worst possible scenario and that is the direction she will go in..

idiots..

sparky's picture

"I'm so proud of dh", Gosh, I am proud of him and I don't even know the guy.

Nymh's picture

We all knew it wouldn't be long. I love how one day she's saying that DH abandoned him, when it's her that keeps demanding SS be yanked back and forth. This can't be a happy life for SS. It doesn't take long of a kid being dropped off at someone's house and picked back up when it's convenient before they start to wonder how much that parent really loves them. Have you guys moved at all during this time?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Candice's picture

and that is the frustrating part. It doesn't have to be that way, but bm is extremely chaotic and dysfunctional, but we just can't win custody. We have tried since he was 6. Our atty said bm is a bad mom just not bad enough. Even our therapist says that she shouldn't have custody, but rather supervised visitations for no more than 2 hours at a time. But, since there are no drug/violence reports we can't use what we have seen in the court room, and only a foresenic therapist can testify in WA State, not your family therapist.

SS is a very unhappy child, and he is also a very spoiled child. The only time he demonstrates any manners and kindness is when someone is buying him something, otherwise you are good as dirt to him. His mother told dh yesterday that he is now 150 lbs and under 5' tall, and is demonstrating anger towards her younger child who is only 5. My dh just kept telling her to take him to the therapists, but I know she won't. She was waiting for us to pick him up and take him ourselves, and then the world to say..."it's ss's fault, or dh's fault....but you don't have to change bm b/c you didn't contribute to this.."

Honestly, my ss's attitude is similar to his mothers. Last spring, her father stopped by our business and told us that the only time his daughter is happy is when he is giving her money, otherwise, she treats people like crap...and this is HER dad.

We can't do all the work when is comes to therapy and trying to redirect his attitude. That is what his mother wants, she wants to drop him off at our house, let us do the work, and then yank him back when she is tired of hearing the guilt trips ss puts on her. It's very chaotic and dysfunctional, and we don't deserve that bullshit treatment. I wish there was more we could do for ss, but as long as bm is in the picture, all of our efforts will be underminded, and my stress level just can't take it. If bm really wanted to do what is right for ss, she would release custody of him to us and just not interfere, but she is too selfish to do something like that.

Oh, and my ss has claimed since he was 11 that his mother doesn't love him, but only wants him around to babysit for her when she goes to the bars. He does have deep seeded anger, and is taking it out on every around him, but bm keeps sabotaging our efforts for therapy for him.

I wish his mother would just grow up!

sixxnguns's picture

that judges will give all these women benefit of the doubt even though the majority of them have issues about insecurity, jealousy and obviously not competent to be parents! But they gave birth to them so they should obviously have custody...it's such a joke..and it seems noone listens when GOOD fathers who actually care are trying to say something and it always ends up being "the guy just doesn't want to pay chid support"...it's such a crock...I fully believe in karma and these crazy BM's have it coming in their own way someday!