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Relocation Questions

etyler's picture

So, I just need some advice.

My BF has a 7 year old daughter who has been split custody for about 3 years now. BM has her Sun-Wed and we get her TH-Sun.

BM also has another kid with another guy and then she decided she was going to move to Georgia to be with her middle school, yes, middle school sweetheart.

Long story short, we agreed to a "trial year" and the arrangement is no support, and we get her all of summer and all Christmas.

My question is, do you think we could have won the custody fight if we tried? We have never been successful with the courts as they always tend to favor the mom but no we just feel lost.

What are your experiences with relocation? Did you have a long distance parent?

Not sure what to try or do at the end of the year. Has anyone had success in winning court when BM although crazy, was not on drugs.
She just moves between men ALOT.

I do have to say that we talk to SD 3x a week and I have been involved in her life for a long time. Most people tend to think that you can't long distance parent, but I think you can. We are just as involved as BM is.

Anyway, this is my first post.. and I just wanted some ideas/feedback.

Thank you!


etyler's picture

Yes. He could have, while she was here BF was still not "primary custodian" because he had her 24 hours less than BM

Judge has always ruled against BF when in court, in every single thing.

She left in May... and yes, she followed the procedure.. it wasn't a really bitter situation, but I guess you never really know what it's gonna be like until it happens

2inluv2run's picture

Well I can only speak from experience but I would say that you would have a very difficult time winning in court. My DH was very involved in his sons life, had shared parenting until 2008 (when we got together) then got Wed and EOW when BM took us back to court for full custody then on the exact same day that she was given full custody she gave us 30 days notice of her intent to move. We spent the last year in court fighting it, have spent thousands and thousands of dollars, got the GAL and Psychologist to testify that it was in the child's best interest to stay in his current school and stay up here with us and all the rest of his family, HOWEVER the judge still ruled that she could leave and take him and that DH can see him via webcam Wednesday night and Sunday nights and whenever he has a 3 day weekend from school (apparently unless its during her scheduled holiday). We have objections still waiting to be ruled on and plan on appealing but meanwhile SS is still 10 hours away. I'm not saying to not fight it, just to be prepared that in my opinion I still think most judges still believe that the child needs to be with his mother regardless and you need to be prepared for a long fight.

2inluv2run's picture

I forgot to add that I do not think you can long distance parent as effectively on just Christmas break and summer holidays. Sorry if this makes you mad, but my DH can call as much as he wants and do the webcam but he doesnt get to meet his sons friends and know who he's hanging around with after school, he doesnt get to play ball with him, he doesnt get to go to school plays or extracurricular activities, he doesnt get to help with homework every night, he doesnt know when hes had a good day / bad day, etc. I dont think its in any way possible to be just as involved as the BM who has them every single day. This is why we continue to fight for equal parenting time for fathers.

etyler's picture

Thanks for your input. However, we do make an effort to meet her friends. We go visit there and hang out with them. We e-mail her teachers weekly, get copies of all progress reports/report cards...We read the same books she is so we can discuss it..

What more does BM besides wake her up in the morning. So I am sorry to say I completely disagree with you.