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Rewarding mediocrity is totally fine

boogeymom's picture

So, we got SS's report cards in the mail, and no big surprise, their grades were not great. SS11 is probably one of the biggest underachievers in the known universe. He's SUPPOSED to be gifted/talented, but sure doesn't act like it since his grades do not reflect those of a g/t student's, and SS13 thoroughly enjoys pretending he's stupid to get attention, so his grades were not that great either.

Last time, SS13 got a D in Spanish and had his technology taken away by BM until he brought his grade up, or until BM got bored of enforcing the consequence and let him have his stuff back, which of course, is what happened. A few weeks in, suddenly SS13 got his stuff back on the weekends...then about mid-semester I noticed he had his stuff back on the weeknights again. I was not surprised. Nor was I surprised when I looked at his grades and noticed that, not only did he maintain a D in Spanish, but a few of the grades in his other subjects had also slipped this time. I wondered aloud to DH why it was that he was given his technology back when not only did his one grade not improve, but other grades were now lower as well. DH asked BM what the deal was with that...she said she gave him back his technology halfway through the grading period because at some point he was actually getting an F in Spanish, and managed to raise it to a D. This kid is going to high school next year, when grades start counting for college. He says he wants to go, but definitely doesn't work hard enough to make it once he gets there if he keeps this up.

Now, call me old-fashioney, but in my house when I was growing up, a C was not praise-worthy, a D was completely unacceptable. An F? You may as well forget it. I learned that one the hard way myself when I was grounded until that grade came up, and not just halfway through the grading period, but for all 6 weeks until the next report cards came. Apparently the thing to do these days is reward a job not that well-done. As my old high school history teacher used to say: "D is for Diploma."

Comments

boogeymom's picture

And that is what makes you a good parent. It really pisses me off as an educator to see kids getting away with murder like that. It gives the rest of us a bad name. If they were MY kids, this crap would not fly at all. But you're right, apparently BM and DH don't have enough of a problem with it to actually make it count, and I know there's nothing I can do about it. I'm all for natural consequences, and the part of me that is a really big bitch can't wait to see how these kids end up, because I'm sure it won't be anything good. Like I told DH, though, once they graduate high school, if they want to live at home and be sponges, they can go do it at their mom's house, cuz I'm not putting up with it.

RedWingsFan's picture

Last night DH got an automated phone call from Stepdevil's school saying that she was failing one or more subjects and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD - am I evil? He JUST went to parent teacher conferences last month and she was getting all A's and B's and now she's failing???? He had texted her saying how proud he was of her and she basically told him to F off and now she's failing? LMFAO Karma bitch!

Sorry, I don't have anything constructive to add to your blog post - I just had to get that out because it makes me smile so much!

Never said I was your mom's picture

Sadly that is how things are now SS has two D's but Bm celebrated his C's and one A in an elective. Next they will be rewarded just for breathing.