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Sort of ot/sort of not- faith/religious questions

Anon2009's picture

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about what the Bible says. It really...mixes up my thoughts, questions, and feelings on things.

1. It talks about how important marriage is. I agree with that. Then it goes on to discuss how cheating and having sex outside of marriage is unacceptable. I agree, but to each their own. However, some people, like John Rosemond, write that stepparents are "parents." What if the stepparent was acquired by an affair one of the bio-parents had? What if the stepparent was acquired because the bio-parents weren't married, and one of the bios started dating the SP during the mother's pregnancy? What if the bio-parents weren't married, but were screwing around with sp, and married them before or after the child was born? What if the bio-parents divorced but not for reasons that are acceptable per the Bible? So many sordid situations seem to arise so often, especially on this site. Is a stepparent a parent, regardless of how they became a stepparent?

2. It says we shouldn't judge. That's one I struggle with at times. It's hard, especially when there are so many situations going on that just seem morally corrupt. Situations that seem to go against what is outlined as acceptable in the Bible. So many people seem to cheat on their spouses. So many people seem to have consensual sex outside of marriage. So many kids are born out of wedlock.

3. What would Jesus say to us? What would he think about the amount of blame we put on SKs, DHs, BMs, etc? What would he say about how we feel about minor SKs? What would he say about the actions of ILs, adult SKs, BMs, our DHs and even us?

4. What would Jesus say about how involved we should be in decisions regarding SKs?

These are all questions that come to my mind. Needless to say, my religious faith comes up a lot when I think about stepfamilies.

Comments

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I am not sure how to answer your questions but I will say that Jesus died for our sins. That means we are not perfect. I did struggle with the thing that says that you should only marry one and not divorce (never found it in the bible but I hear it). Ok BM cheated multiple times on my DH and that is why he left and then I came into the picture, we also have children together now. He has 2 from BM and 2 from me. The way I look at it is God knows your path and I believe everyone here is supposed to be here so if DH and I had never met, then DD8 and DD3 would not be here.

I find comfort knowing that God or Jesus doesn't expect us to be perfect. There is only ONE perfect and that is God. That is why repenting sins and asking for forgiveness comes in. Giving your life to God.

I am still new at this as I became to my faith 2 years ago when I was knocked down to rock bottom. I was mentally and physically sick from dealing with SD19 and having a rare tick disease that I swear almost killed me as it was left undiagnosed for 5 months.

God doesn't want you to be perfect he wants you to come to him in times of happiness and in times of trouble and he helps you through it even when you feel he is not there...he is, you just have to believe.

This world is messed up and it was not intended to be prefect because then what would heaven be...I dont know lol...I am trying here! I am happy to hear you have faith. I would not have made it through all this without my praying and without my church. I go to a church that is amazing, It is bible based and they even have a band with awesome Christian music rather then hymns. Not knocking any religion (catholic/Lutheran etc) Its just that this church is where I became saved and had God brought into my heart and got baptized by immersion. I remember going there broken and crying to some of the music quietly to myself and then after speaking to people, they really take you in and they really make you feel like you belong and its ok to hurt and go through stuff. Everyone is a sinner. Anyways like I said, I am winging this!!!! God bless!

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I will say that I hear that God wants us to forgive and I will be honest. I am not at forgiveness stage with SD19 at all. I just chalk it up to hey I am not perfect and not meant to be. God knows my hurt. I am still trying to figure out what his plan with all this is. The only thing I think of is that maybe he doesn't think she needs to be in my life right now. Maybe he is trying to reach her as she has no faith right now. Ok I will stop now lol.

Anon2009's picture

Thank you for your posts. I agree with everything you wrote.

I get these Facebook "God Wants You To Know" messages. Today, mine was "It's never too late to get back on track. Never has anyone gone so far on the wrong path that they cannot return to the right one. Never has anyone become so wayward that they cannot benefit from the true light." I believe that holds true for all of us, whether we are talking about BMs, SMs, sks, DHs/SOs, SFs, etc.

myspoonistoobig's picture

1. It talks about how important marriage is. I agree with that. Then it goes on to discuss how cheating and having sex outside of marriage is unacceptable. I agree, but to each their own. However, some people, like John Rosemond, write that stepparents are "parents." What if the stepparent was acquired by an affair one of the bio-parents had? What if the stepparent was acquired because the bio-parents weren't married, and one of the bios started dating the SP during the mother's pregnancy? What if the bio-parents weren't married, but were screwing around with sp, and married them before or after the child was born? What if the bio-parents divorced but not for reasons that are acceptable per the Bible? So many sordid situations seem to arise so often, especially on this site. Is a stepparent a parent, regardless of how they became a stepparent?

There are a lot of what-ifs here. You agree that cheating and having sex outside of marriage is unacceptable. So don't do it. Does your faith apply to people who don't share it? Leading to number 2...

2. It says we shouldn't judge. That's one I struggle with at times. It's hard, especially when there are so many situations going on that just seem morally corrupt. Situations that seem to go against what is outlined as acceptable in the Bible. So many people seem to cheat on their spouses. So many people seem to have consensual sex outside of marriage. So many kids are born out of wedlock.

As I'm sure you've seen pointed out at some point, eating prawns goes against what is outlined in the Bible. The Bible is not always applicable because it was written in a different time. Biblically speaking, the predominant culture in the Middle East is probably more acceptable from a 'biblical' standpoint. If you don't agree with that, I'll understand, but I'll ask you again if you think your faith should apply to people who don't share it. What does the Bible tell you about people who don't share your faith and how you are supposed to conduct yourself around them? When you openly judge others and use your faith as the basis for that, you are giving yourself and others an image that you will be judged by. What do you want your actions to say about your faith and yourself? Is it more important to you to let someone know that they're wrong, or that they know they can tell you anything.

3. What would Jesus say to us? What would he think about the amount of blame we put on SKs, DHs, BMs, etc? What would he say about how we feel about minor SKs? What would he say about the actions of ILs, adult SKs, BMs, our DHs and even us?

He'd probably enourage people to put more value in love than in hate and to disengage from the emotional responses we have to things we cannot control.

4. What would Jesus say about how involved we should be in decisions regarding SKs?

Open to interpretation. Does the Bible say anything about how Jesus felt about Joseph?

Anon2009's picture

I don't think my faith should apply to those who don't share it. I don't think it should be imposed on anyone. These are questions that I really think about on my own, and wonder what God/my faith would want me to do. These are questions that pop up in my mind.

myspoonistoobig's picture

I get that. I'm just saying that your "what-ifs" in the first question basically boil down to, should your faith and moral code apply to everyone.

myspoonistoobig's picture

"What if the stepparent was acquired by an affair one of the bio-parents had? What if the stepparent was acquired because the bio-parents weren't married, and one of the bios started dating the SP during the mother's pregnancy? What if the bio-parents weren't married, but were screwing around with sp, and married them before or after the child was born? What if the bio-parents divorced but not for reasons that are acceptable per the Bible? So many sordid situations seem to arise so often, especially on this site."

If the sordid situations she's refering to aren't her own, the questions encompass her perceptions of others as well.

myspoonistoobig's picture

You mean the rest of the questions, littered with "us" and "we" rather than I, or every blog post OP has written.