A quick poll to satisfy my curiosity...
How many of you who are stepparents speak directly to the other bio-parent in regards to scheduling the visitations/schedules/etc. for the children? Not just talk in passing or at handoffs or school events. I'm talking about YOU (the stepparent) calling the other bio parent to say "I'd like to have Little Johnny visit from August 8th - August 12th".
How many of you leave all of the communication between only the bio-parents?
I'm just curious. Because I have to say that it irritates the heck out of me when my ex-husband has his wife call/e-mail me to make plans for our child. I'm pretty sure she wasn't around when we made the kiddo! It's not a jealousy thing either, we've been divorced almost 12 years and I'm now dealing with his 5th wife! It's more of a "why can't HE be bothered" thing if that makes sense. Plus this seems to happen MUCH more often with women than with men. I'd never DREAM of having my DH call/e-mail my ex to discuss shedules/visitation.
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My BF communicates with BM
My BF communicates with BM directly about visitations for SS's. I don't get involved in that other than he consults me if BM is wanting to change something (so he can make sure he hasn't forgotten plans WE'VE already made!). My ex and I have always had a difficult relationship and for a while things were co-ordinated through his current wife. I wasn't happy about it, but at that time it was easier than dealing with him. But that changed the minute I didn't do exactly as she wanted, so it's back to talking only to him....or the judge, which ever he prefers.
Hi WifeVersion2.0,
Hi WifeVersion2.0, interesting topic. I leave all communication to future DH and BM. They only communicate via text message, although he will sometimes have me respond (as him }:) ) when he is in a can't be bothered mood.
Lovepets, Our situation is
Lovepets,
Our situation is the same. It makes things more peaceful.
I used to. Now I don't. We
I used to.
Now I don't.
We are ALL much happier because I don't.
All communication is done by
All communication is done by email. That way we actually have proof of what has been said.
Skids (18 and 14) chose to
Skids (18 and 14) chose to live with us full time. BM pays no child support and rarely sees her own kids. On the rare occasion we have to deal with her, my husband wants me to talk to her. He hates her with a passion. She hates me and refuses to deal with me. My husband also deals with my EX husband as well... which my ex doesn't seem to mind.
Most everything I've read on
Most everything I've read on the subject agrees with you Wife2.0, and says that the bios should do the talking and leave the steps out of it.
I truly believe that is the
I truly believe that is the best in the long run. I even felt weird when my DH's ex asked me (we were all in her driveway while the kids were getting into the car) if we could keep the kids an extra night. I mean their dad is RIGHT THERE...he's the one that will have to bring them home at a different time....So I simply replied "I'd love to have the kids an extra night, but you should probably check with DH since he's the one that will be transporting". He and I had only been married about 6 months at that point.
SD's driving when she was in
SD's driving when she was in pre-K was made by her mom and myself (mainly me) thus, we needed to communicate with each other, however, she refused claiming that it is my husband's responsibility and thus, she would call him at work (he is a teacher) for him to be the middleman and it was just very messy. Now that I have NOTHING to do with pick up/drop off, I do not interact with her.
DH communicates with
DH communicates with Uberskank through text and email only, he refuses to even speak to her any longer.
I do not speak to her because "Can DH's kid come over from this day to that day" would probably accidentally come out as "Are you at all capable of putting your children before yourself you low-life piece of crap?" }:)
LMAO I think Uberskank and
LMAO
I think Uberskank and Craziness are related!!!
LOL! I'm sure they
LOL! I'm sure they are........
Our situation is exactly like
Our situation is exactly like Shaman's.
In four years, here is a complete list of what I have said to BM:
1. Nice to meet you.
2. Ok.
3. Yes.
That was enough for both of us.
No communciation here. Even
No communciation here. Even when I have attempted to take messages she would ramble on about how she knew that I would not give it to him anyway. Bm would claim that I was being rude to her, swearing at her. Loved it when I was able to have BF listen in on a call and when the cell phones were able to tape messages along with the video capability, it has saved me from her false claims several times.
All comunication is done
All comunication is done between BM and DH. They usually email but lately she has been calling instead. If there is something I want to do with the boys and DH isn't going to be there, I send her an email and ask her about it.